Oh Me Oh My~Albus

The silence had him want to push Ben away and keep moving. "Well.." He said quirking his eyebrow. Albus could tell by Ben was indecisive so he wouldn't force him to speak. If he wanted to he would, if he clammed up he did there was no more pressure. Albus just watched Ben's brown pupils dance from the ground to him, up and down and then his back hit the tree hard and he felt Ben's warm lips on his. Although he didn't know what he was doing he attempted to let Ben lead him in a kiss but when it was over he opened his eyes seeing Ben's back. The sound of werewolves howling caused him to look around a bit eery as he followed Ben. The older boy could have at least let him speak after his first kiss. Albus scowled, his first kiss was with his big brother's best friend. Oh would this be a story for Lu, he knew she'd keep his secrets and pry the gossip out of him. Albus exited the forest and crossed his arms over his chest storming after Ben. Once he caught up and they were out of harms way he stopped stubbornly in front of the other boy looking up. "That..that wasn't an answer." Albus said looking down shaking his head. "I make you want to snag my first kiss then abandon me, not letting me express my feelings?" Albus said his tone saddened as he looked up at Ben.

The boy stopping abruptly in front of him made him slightly stumble back. He looked at Albus, why did he have to make this harder than it already was to begin with? He rubbed the back of his neck for a moment before the boy threw around the fact it was his first kiss,"Do you think I planned my first kiss with a boy to be like that?" he asked then he realized how pathetic that sounded. He scowled and looked down dragging the toe of his shoe across the snow for a moment before he looked at Albus again,"What do you want me to say Al huh? You want me to ask you to the ball? Promise you starlit dances and Christmas presents and cuddle sessions? I'm not a pro at this, I'm a pro with girls not boys!" he said as he looked away now, though he'd actually like to do those things for the boy, how would his brother think? Ben's best friend? HIs own sister? He looked at the boy again now, his eyes actually holding a glint of sadness,"What do you want me to do Al? Tell me.." he said really not knowing where this all was going any more.

No, he didn't think Ben planned anything it didn't have to be any sort of way. "You were drunk, I was drunk no one has to know." Albus suggested with a hint of a smile. It was fake, he wanted to tell himself feelings are for the weak everything was a dream and fairy tales didn't exist. They didn't always have to have a happy ending and Ben's sarcasm and questions directed toward him made him uncomfortable. "Please, I don't expect any of that from you Ben." Albus said with a roll of his eyes. He ruffled his hair and looked at the castle not wanting to show any emotion. Ben did have a reputation to uphold, he didn't need to be seen as his shadow nor his other half that was James' job. There it was final no strings attached. He could fix himself that was not the issue but could Ben? Why was he so concerned, Ben was being a wise ass he didn't want to make Albus happy did he? Over thinking. Oh he needed another round of boozes.

"Ben, I don't want you to do anything. I want you to be happy, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that. However you find happiness is up to you." Albus said, he was cold to his own feelings at times but he would just involve his brain in more studies it would cloud out any memories. Albus smiled halfly and backed up a little bit he felt too close. Even if he wanted Ben he knew it was out of his grasp, like that Emma girl to James that he always spoke of. It was getting late, being a prefect to enforce curfew. "I need to go and..ah.. you know..patrol the fifth floor. There is a hot bath with multi-colored water and bubbles awaiting me." No, he needed to think things through, the hot water would sober him up and ease his tension he hopped. Albus turned his back to Ben and walked hanging his head watching his feet as he walked toward the castle. What was he going to do?

He watched the boy and it completely stunned him the words that escaped Albus's lips, really? He really thought Ben didn't give a shit? If he didn't give a shit he A; wouldn't have gone to keep him company back at the Three Broomsticks to begin with, B; wouldn't have bought him his bloody milkshake, C; wouldn't have held his hand and actually smiled because of it, D; wouldn't have gone after him in the bloody forest and E; WOULDN''T HAVE KISSED HIM! He scowled,"You're a hypocrite Albus, a bloody hypocrite!" he hollered and then went after him stopping in front of the boy before he could reach the castle doors,"How can you stand there and ask what I want, ask what I mean, get close to me and pull back like that? You don't want to be like boys like me I'm sure but look what you're doing, what every other god damn female ever does to me!" he said he wouldn't cry he was too strong to cry in front of some sixth year boy who corrected him and wanted to be a tough guy but in the end really wasn't, he wouldn't cry in front of the blue eyed boy with the cute dimpled smile and the hair that fell slightly into his eyes where every once in awhile he'd flick it back with a shake of his head. No, this boy didn't deserve to see him cry, but why did he feel like he was about to break down. His hands clenched into fists, his body shaking holding back his sadness and the tears he wanted to cry,"You ask me whats inside and then you don't even want to stick around to see it for yourself, don't ask questions if you don't have the patience to receive the answers, don't act interested in something your just going to toss away," he said his eyes now brimming with the threat of tears as he looked down so the boy couldn't see.

"Oh am I?" He muttered walking away a bit faster but it was no use, soon enough Ben caught up and he listened to Ben scold him in a way. Albus was unsure what he wanted, he knew he was developing feelings more then he should for Ben. Al knew it hurt him to kiss Ben and walk away, it hurt him when he saw James and Ben having all the fun. Laughing and joking, getting into trouble. It bothered him the thought he'd have to be Ben's dirty little secret, that he could be nothing to him in front of James nor the rest of the world. So when getting close to Ben he perhaps he didn't think of all the scenarios but when it was painted out and he was suddenly in the category of 'the girls' that hurt Ben he shook his head. "I'm not like anyone. I won't be your little secret Ben, I can't my ego wont let me. Your image is important to you remember?" Albus questioned in his sassy tone. Moodswing, The tone in Ben's voice made him saddened as he felt himself tear up shaking his head. "I never said I didn't want to stick around, I don't want you to be hurt Ben." Albus said letting his own tears roll down his freckled cheeks. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around Ben resting his head on the boys chest listening for his heart beat. It was fast, he could feel him shaking and he wanted it to all go away.

"I didn't toss you away I wasn't sure what you wanted." Albus whispered rubbing Ben's back trying to sooth him, he whispered shushing noises looking up at Ben's eyes. He saw the tears brimming and he took his thumb wiping them away. "It's okay, it's going to be okay." Albus assured, he'd try to fix this. Naive as he was to love he had a good gist of what was expected. "I won't leave you. I'll give you time...My time." Albus vowed nodding as he hugged Ben again he was cold, he wanted to go inside and cuddle up. "Come on." Albus said taking Ben's hand, leading him inside the castle and up to the seventh floor. The halls were empty and he knew it was past curfew. Albus was a prefect he could always say he was escorting Ben to his dorm, with some kind of sleep walking excuse if caught. Soon enough he was standing in front of the blank wall awaiting an entrance. Once it appeared he lead Ben inside looking around and there was a comfy leather sofa with a soft throw blanket, and some pillows by the fireplace awaiting them. Albus let go of Ben's hand and removed his outer layers of clothing and shoes. The small boy walked over to the sofa sitting down pulling the blanket over his bare legs. "Please come cuddle and snog me. Tell me your feelings, give me a chance to make up for my stubborn, blindness pleasee Benny." Albus asked with a little pout on his lip and wide eyes petting the spot beside him.

He didn't like the sight of the small circular drops that rolled down the boy's cheeks and when he felt the small arms around him he looked down and he reached up placing his hand on the back of Albus's neck, holding him in a slightly protective way. He waited for a moment taking in a few deep breaths and he felt the boy wiping his tears away. He was shivering now more and he wasn't sure if it was due to his being upset or the cold. When Albus suggested going inside he followed without a single objection. He wasn't sure where they were going until they reached the seventh floor and then he knew. He skimmed his bottom lip with his teeth and he followed the boy inside not expecting what came next with him removing a majority of his clothes until he was in his skivvies. He tilted his head wondering if he was supposed to get that exposed as well. He shrugged and stood there for a moment, shrugging out of his leather jacket, he tossed it over the arm of the couch. He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his shirt but he stayed in his jeans for his own comfort. He walked over and sat down beside Albus still replaying the boys words over and over in his head until he pulled Albus into his arms without a second thought and he lie down pulling the boy to lie with him. He sighed and rested his forehead against Al's looking into his blue orbs,"Snog ya? I wouldn't want to snag your second kiss or anything" he teased lightly with a soft chuckle as he held the boy tighter."I'm sorry I make this so difficult for you Albus, I just...I don't like the thought of rejection or being shunned" he muttered.

Albus awaiting Ben's next move and when he stripped down and removed his shirt he bit his bottom lip admiring his build. When Ben joined him he was pulled into Ben's arms and he nuzzled against him shifting til he was comfortable. Albus tossed he leg over Ben's and took in a breath looking into the boy's dark eyes. Albus smirked at Ben's comment and blushed a little. Was it unattractive he hadn't been kissed til this year? Of course everyone in his family thought him to be innocent but the way girls flirted with him it might have been unbelievable. Albus shrugged off his thoughts and chewed the inside of his cheek. "It's only one year." Albus tried to reassure Ben as well as himself. In a way he knew it would bug him that if he were to be with Ben he would be a secret. Not being able to do what typical couples did, those things he found so adorable. Kissing in public, play fighting he couldn't even draw Ben's quidditch number on either side of his cheeks for games if he were a secret.

Albus took in a breath. "I understand, it's not exactly easy coming out. It took me years so I don't expect you to do it over night." Albus assured feeling Ben's warm skin against his own. "Just don't let me catch you letting girls think your available or something. I wouldn't want you to see my potential Slytherin jealous side come into play." Albus teased holding on the Ben tighter. As he forehead rest against Ben's he smirked recalling his earlier comment. "You may not want to snag my second snog, but who's to say I won't snag yours?" Albus said a bit daring as he kissed Ben's lips closing his eyes hoping he was doing this right. It was sloppy and not passionate he could feel it as he backed down. With time hopefully he'd get better at this. Albus blushed and pulled away. "That was bloody horrible I'm sorry." Albus said looking away shy.

He was lost in thought as he closed his eyes for a moment just listening to the boy's breathing and taking in his body heat. He smiled to himself but then he became a little more aware of the boy's words, wait? What was he trying to say? He opened his eyes looking at Albus for a moment,"Are you asking me out or uh are you telling me we're together?" he asked. He hadn't quite expected this, and if that was what the boy was getting at then so be it, he wouldn't mind having some secret relationship with this boy, it wasn't like he had full interest in any girls at the moment any way, the one thing Al would have to get over though would be him flirting with other girls in front of James just to keep his buddy oblivious to the truth. He chewed his bottom lip,"I'll only flirt in front of James to keep him oblivious, other than that I can manage your request" he added. This would be difficult but not entirely impossible. He felt the boy kiss him and he closed his eyes taking it in even though it was sloppy he knew eventually the boy would get it down to a tee. He pulled Al closer when the kiss ended and he closed his eyes burying his face in Albus's neck,"I'm your's....don't make me regret this Al, I won't let you regret it either" he whispered a yawn escaping his lips,"G;night little Potter....sweet dreams"

[/color] he whispered falling into a slumber holding the boy tight.[/blockquote]

Was he suppose to ask Ben out? Al guessed that was sort of what he was hinting at. A relationship, he was only sixteen and it would be his first Al never imagined his first relationship to be a secret, it would be odd for it to be but if he knew Lucy she'd tell the world. Even if he begged not to she was unreliable when it came to keeping her mouth shut. Therefore he'd have to keep it from her, but how long could he hold out this information, in ways she and Rose were some of his best friends keeping Ben a secret would be hard. Who would be be able to talk to about it, Albus would have to keep it all in. What a pain he thought looking into Ben's eyes. "Well I guess a little of each, I want you to want to be with me, but I'm telling you I need you to be mine." Albus mused with a wink. Flirting with Ben was easy even if his buzz was dying and he was become tired. Albus yawned and thought for a moment, could he handle not getting jealous? "I will try my best to tolerate that because I know James' opinion of you matters however, flirting means words not actions you know that right?" Albus said being protective, he couldn't help it at this point. "Of course you know that." Albus answered his own question feeling Ben's heat engulf his body. He closed his eyes taking in the boys scent listening to his last words. "You wont regret it Ben, regrets are for uptight know-it-alls, be my rebel don't over think it now." Albus said his eyes were too heavy to open and he smirked at Ben's never ending nickname for him. "You better stop it with that Little Potter name, I'm not little." Albus claimed he wasn't too short but through many years he always scolded Ben for calling him Little Potter. "Sweet dreams Ben." Albus muttered half sleep. He soon was in a sleeping state feeling safe and warm where everything around him felt perfect. In the back of his mind he wondered how dating his brother's bestfriend no scratch that, his boyfriend would effect his day to day routines, but it would just have to pan out for itself.