i only want the truth >> anabelle

In the aftermath of the Valentine's ball Jack had certainly found everything around him certainly different. No only were certain people just ignoring him, everybody seemed in a different mood whether they had gained a Valentine or elevated one to a higher standing in a sense. Some you could had less than fortunate evenings and days after where the truth was out the in open, plenty had broken up as had been made new and the tone was just different all over the place. Jack had seen sad girls in the common room and boys bragging left and right of their adventures. However, he had hardly spotted his best around around at all. Either she was avoiding him, was extremely busy, or had just disappeared. His bet was her avoidance, he had hardly been the attentive date the night of the ball. Previously they had agreed to attend as friends because neither had a date and she hadn't contested that agreement. However, aside from arriving just a few minutes late due to drinking with Albus and some time alone with Chloe and leaving just a few minutes early without warning he didn't doubt that she would be a little mad at him. It wasn't the first time they had fought though and there had been plenty of times where one or the other just needed to cool off and they were good again. Surely she would forgive his drunken nature and actions and forget about it all because he wanted to just blast parts from his own memory.

The next morning had been a not so pleasant hangover and realization of what he had done, or who for that matter. Somewhere over the course of the ball he'd managed to leave and run into Eva and in their own intoxicated state one thing lead to another to which the next day he was amused that she had even let it happen but at the same time he was mad at himself because he'd wanted distance from her. Also, he had felt terrible because he knew that he had finally admitted to his best friend that he'd had this side relationship without telling her and he literally told her everything, so she would be hurt at the lack of trust. It hadn't been his intention to tell her about Eva and that whole mess, that he'd been in some type of physical relationship with her and then wanted to take it further because of his feelings. To be honest, if he had consulted this with Anna then it might have not gone down the way that it did and then he remembered leaving the ball whether he had told her or not he didn't remember but he felt bad about ditching her like that because she didn't deserve that from him, nobody did. To say that he had acted like an ass the past few week would have been an understatement and he just wanted to rewind where his friends weren't mad at him relationships weren't at risk. Walking around the castle he kept an eye out for her, hoping that she might being the Library or the Student Lounge or even the Common Room because he just wanted to make sure she was alright and not too mad at him.

Hands in his pockets he walked out of the Castle and into the Courtyard, his last stop before the Forbidden Forest and saw that it was virtually empty out here. There was but one or two students reading or heading back into the castle, maybe it was the weather or the new formed relationships that needed attention. There was no way she wasn't outside because he was not looking through the castle again. His subtle nature in this matter was losing it's grip as he just wanted some kind of normalcy to his foundation here because he was avoiding Eva as she was avoiding him and Chloe was not speaking to him either and he couldn't even begin to wrap his head around that one. Walking around the fountain to where there was a sole bench he paused, a slight sigh of relief escaping his lips and he saw her sitting there studying or reading and he approached calmly. If having a sister taught him anything it was that angry women were not to be messed or toyed with at all. There you are, you know you can't hide from me forever. Again he hoped she wasn't angry enough to hex him but he just needed a friend at least for the moment. Jack stood in front of her at a reasonable distance, not too close, and didn't assume that sitting down was welcome. Listen, I'm sorry about the other night. Drinking, you know. Not to throw out a random excuse or anything but that was the only card he had besides his own dumb self.

---

lyrics: love hurts - incubus
words: 816
notes:

Although her night started great, was devastating in between, it hadn't gone nearly as horrible as it could of. Thank Merlin, Nathan found her when he did, or she might have spent her night pouring her heart into her flask. Things could have went bad if she got intoxicated and went and confronted Jack in a black out state. Ana woke up the following morning safe in her bed. Her head was pounding of course, but a perk to being a Slytherin was it was never too bright in the dungeons. Ana stretched and forced herself from bed. Her hair was a mess and she was simply numb at heart. To start the morning off right she made her way to the nearest bathroom and bathed. The warm water soothed her as she pained a picture of her previous night. Everything that could have went wrong, did. Now there was nothing left but a dead feelings inside. Speaking with Nate, she seemed to put aside everything her heart knew to be true. Why did she even care so much? It wasn't like Jack was hers, therefore there was no reason to cry.

Then it happened, she could feel the tears forming in her eyes as she dunked her head under the water. If all of her was wet there would be no way distinguish she was hurt. Ana could even convince herself, into believe she didn't care after a while. The glorious prefect bathroom took a tole on her mind as she let all her thoughts fade away with the filth from yesterday. Ana was a new person today, stronger then before. Jack wanting someone else, wasn't the end of the world. He was just another boy now, and she was lost amongst a sea of beautiful females. Females that she wouldn't get angry at, she wouldn't fight them. Ana knew her self worth was more intact then that, she was better then she allowed herself to think last night. A true friend made that clear.

After finishing up her bath she dried off and got dressed. She blow dried her long hair and added some curls. Scanning over herself for a long moment she smiled. Dancing would be nice however, she bought a book that she was aiming to finish. The weather was suppose to be improving now that it was mid-February and Ana figured some fresh air would be brilliant. What a wonderful way to spend the weekend. Having some time just for herself. Ana made her way from the dungeons to mail level. No one seemed to stop her, in the halls she could hear complaints of hang overs. A smirk crept across her full lips. With a slight shake f her head she made her way to the outside. The sun warming her cheeks as she looked up. The time for happiness was near, she could feel it inside, like a fire burning deep within her chest. Ana made her way to the courtyard taking a seat on one of the benches. There didn't seem to be many around therefore she could enjoy the serenity. Ana flipped open her book to the chapter she had paused on last. The Last Song was an amazing muggle novel. Ana didn't oblige to listening to her parents when they spoke she couldn't enjoy muggle things. There was always something different about her, from the rest of the Zabinis.

Soon she was swooning in the bliss romance of the novel. The plot told a tale of a rebel girl whom fell in love with a popular boy. Right away he wanted her, she was special to him being nothing more then herself. The shadow of another caused her to look up from her book an astonished look on her face. Jack... oh this was just wrong timing. Ana listened to his words and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. At first she was indecisive if she wanted to speak to him at all. Did it matter when she was left there alone and cold standing there? No it didn't, if she remembered correctly. "Who said I was hiding from you?" Ana mumbled shaking her head. There she spoke, she wasn't hiding from him. Then before he could answer her question she spoke a bit more. "I don't need to hide from anyone Jack." Ana stated crude. Couldn't a girl just have some time to heal herself? Guess not because he preceded to apologize. Drinking? Ana knew Jack quite well, ever since first year they were close. Intoxication was hardly an excuse. "It doesn't matter, I don't care." She stated softly as she turned slightly looking back to her book leaving him standing there, cold and ignored.

Tagged: Jack PuceyWearing: Click Words:804 Note: And so it starts.Credits: Shawn![/center]

So much for a peaceful resolution. If her bitter words weren't a clue, already, Jack knew she was mad at him. Her voice wasn't harsh but the tone of her words were enough to give him a hint. It didn't take much for it to sting, he didn't need her mad at him because he had nobody else that he was this close to. They were two peas in a pod ever since his second year and her first and after all this time it didn't need to change and really that just would have been just as bad as when he and Chloe had broken up. Speaking of Chloe, there was another one he couldn't seem to find today and he wondered of this potential conspiracy he had probably created by himself. There was this initial look on her face that really didn't expect anyone to visit her, let alone him. Her body language was a response to him in itself, turning away from him and diverting her full attention back to her book. To be honest, he couldn't remember the last time he had seen her this mad at him, or really this cold and angry at all because it wasn't like her. Somehow he had messed this up, and badly, though in his mixed up memories and residual headache he hoped he hadn't left anything out in his own mind of the recollection of having left her at the dance. Knowing how he was when he was drinking it was probably nothing subtle in her eyes as well. Jack had drank with Ana before, just as friends and nothing had happened aside from maybe cuddling or excessive flirting but he never thought anything of it, they were best friends and that type of behavior was nothing new to him.

Jack put his hands in his pockets and stayed standing where he was. Ana, I know you are mad and I'm sorry. Sure he had ditched her at the dance and if that was the only issue then this should pass quickly, he mused. And he definitely would never have another night like that again, really the way that it had all panned out was like one of those muggle television shows or a muggle book such as the one that she was reading a the moment. Maybe he was stupid to these obvious issues or details that made women mad and oblivious, either way he was not going to leave her alone to end up being even more mad at him. When it come to your best friend you have to put a little bit more effort than that. Almost daringly and at a risk he sat down on the empty space next to her on the bench. Knowing his current luck she would just leave, but he had to try, didn't he? What do I have to do to get you to forgive me? Had his offense really been that bad? Jack honestly didn't think so but he wouldn't admit that if he wanted a peaceful resolution. what did she want him to do? Give her space, he could do that, but he really would rather have not and have at least one person at this school that he could stand and talk to without it being weird. Jack thought about his night again and tried to remember any other infractions he may have done and then remembered how Eva had been brought up into the conversation.

She had finally asked him about his weird behavior, his moodiness and just overall slightly low mood and after having what felt like half the punch bowl for alcoholic comfort he had admitted it was over a girl. She seemed surprised, shocked and then a little upset that he hadn't told her of the affair sooner. You'd think something that had lasted for some time and ended even longer after that he would have mentioned something. Maybe he just hadn't wanted the same responses from her as he had received after his breakup with Chloe. Not that she wasn't a supportive best friend, because she was, but he just didn't want to hear it and didn't want to from anyone. Then soon after that he had ended up just kind of wandering off from the dance and encountering Eva and that had happened. As far as Eva was concerned he was still on the fence especially considering their last real conversation had been a lovely argument and a now even more unresolved state to that relationship. Would she ever give in and let something happen? Or would there forever be this standstill? Maybe she could talk to him now about it, he could have her feedback and opinions whether positive or negative though he assumed largely negative at this point. Please talk to me. He couldn't stand him ignoring her and acting this way, it wasn't fun at all.

---

lyrics: love hurts - incubus
words: 820
notes:

Ana had always been a sweet girl, the girl who looked to the positive aspects of a situation. She had never over step her boundaries, and wasn't one to have full on arguments. Through the years she had remained quiet, and settled for the love of men whom didn't care much for her. Ana had been a bit vain at times, but her love life was true tragedy as far as anyone who knew her noted. There were a few of her friends, including Jack who said she deserved better, but when she strove for better, it never plotted out well. Ana accepted those who wanted her for short amounts of time, weather it was using her or not, she needed to feel some form of care. This destroyed her self esteem, and the girl in the mirror, cried silent tears that were unseen to those around her. She could put on a hell of an act to state there was nothing wrong, but she knew deep down in the depths of her soul she was tattered and broken. From all that she had experienced she learned to forgive. To forgive, those who hurt her, but in return she'd always remain in that same state of shame and live in regret due to it all.

Her spirits were lower after the night of the dance, more crushed then she could imagine. She'd never be anything to Jack, and she was trying to accept that. As hard as she was trying to be, it hurt her to see him like this. Begging for her forgiveness, but she couldn't break. Her feelings had been shot, and she put up and emotional barrier of what remained of Ana Zabini. Jack stated he knew she was mad, but if he only knew she was hurt it would be a different tale. Mad was the product of the coldness that she felt from him, the shut out feeling he made her experience the other night. Sorry? Sorry was going to bring back her self esteem, sorry wasn't going to be any recollection to what she was feeling. Sorry was a word, and the sooner he saw that, the sooner they could part from one another. "Are you Jack, Can you even tell me what you're sorry for?" Ana asked her face blank of expression. It was a trick question, something to make him think more on the topic. Of course he wouldn't think it was because he hurt her, because she never expressed her feelings for him. He'd think it was because he told her about some other girl, then ditched her the night of the ball for his own selfish needs. Jack hurt her more then she could say this time, and when he asked what to do, for her to forgive him, Ana hadn't the slightest clue.

Her dark eyes fell to the book in her lap, and her hair cascaded into her face. Anabelle never imagined things to be this complex, she didn't know she could feel this much pain. It got her angry, and she wasn't a mean person. Unlike the rest of her family she had morals of friendship, and could be openly happy. It was just hard to smile, without a cause. She felt her body start to shake and she wanted to cry, but she tried not to. "You'll never get it, because you don't want to see it Jack." Ana whispered her voice very soft. There was pain in her voice and her eyes brimmed with tears but she wouldn't look at him. It wasn't her to give a man the satisfaction of knowing he made her cry. Through blurry vision she tried to push back everything, if she was numb and blank of heart nothing could harm her. "I don't want to forgive you, you don't know what you've done, and I don't want you to stick around to find out, that I'm weaker then you thought." She forced herself to look up at him, her eyes blood shot and wet, but she didn't let those tears roll down her soft cheeks. She was letting herself down, and felt she was letting down her best friend too. This weak feeling was new to her, once she was strong but it now felt so gone. "You might as well let go, you can't take back what you've done, Jack." She whispered shaking her head looking back to the cover of her book. It was only like a man to give up, not that she classified him as typical. She had much more faith in him, and maybe he could figure it all out with time.

Tagged: Jack PuceyWearing: Click Words:778 Note: Aww Ana Credits: Shawn![/center]

It wasn't as if Jack and Ana had never fought, like any friends and especially best friends they had fought over the years but nothing ever as serious to the point of breaking the friendship. Really, besides Ana he had some other friends but none that were as close and comfortable to be around. Like it didn't bother him if she stayed in his dorm and they talked all night or if she didn't want to sleep alone for whatever reason. It wasn't an awkward thing and he didn't mind because he was being a good friend, her older brother didn't appear to have much of a personality in his eyes so he wanted to be that rock and person she could go to safely. That's what best friends did right? And that arrangement was working well for him though right now the small rift was growing with every second and it was panicking him slightly to wonder and rapidly go through his thoughts to figure out what he had done. There wasn't much specific he could pinpoint that wasn't obvious but he was clearly missing it. The last time he had seen her upset at all or even sad was after her last little fling ended or they broke up and he was there for her and the guy hadn't quiet been treating her well either way and he had kept his mouth shut until it was over to tell her he didn't like the guy. Plus he knew more stories about him than she did, being Head Boy introduced you to the gossip of the school and the knowings around town. It was enlightening and sometimes he was surprised but for the most part he kept it to himself as it was privileged information.

She asked him a question and that stopped him in his thoughts and metaphorically in his tracks. Did he know? And that was what had gotten him thinking. Well, he had left her alone at the dance. Was there more? Jack didn't respond right away, he knew that when he said anything there would be a little bit of backlash. Was it that obvious that he was clueless and then again being a male gave him that innate sense of not being able to see the obvious or what was in front of him. Options flew in his mind and he just threw most of them out because they weren't plausible to him. Um..because I left you at the dance? To hook up with his former flame in the Prefect's bathroom. Unless she knew about Chloe, he wasn't sure if he should bring that up just in case she didn't. He was risking adding fuel to that fire if he did. Before he could stop himself he spoke, and immediately regretted mentioning anything. Or about Chloe? It was vague but he seriously doubted that Ana was a fan of Chloe because of the way their relationship had been and ended. And he would not have been happy if he found out she was seeing one of her exes basically on the priciple of that she deserved to be treated way better than they had and not serve to lower her self-esteem and make her upset. It hurt him to see his friends cry or anyone close to him, just growing up seeing his mother depressed and drinking all the time made it sensitive for him and he never liked seeing them like that because then you just gave up living at that point and that was not a good feeling.

Suddenly, she got quiet and looked down and he tried to interpret her words because he was lost her to exactly what she was talking about. What wasn't he seeing? What was he missing? As much as Jack was hurting to see her in this despair and knowing that he had been the one causing it, the words only stung him. Was this the end of their friendship? Over something he wasn't sure he did? The proverbial breakup of them being a duo? Ana...I don't think you're weak. Where did she get that idea? When she finally did look at him, those beautiful dark eyes full of tears, anger and pain and her lip even quivering as though she was about to just break down here in the middle of the courtyard. Again she spoke but he moved to sit next to her on the bench and moved the hair from her face and behind her ear. Please don't cry, just talk to me Ana. You've always been able to talk to me. Right? That was the impression he'd had the whole time. Really, he felt so bad and the sinking feeling in his stomach didn't make him feel good about this whole thing. Suddenly, he had gone from best friend to the asshole of a man that had hurt her. Please, just talk to me. In the back of his mind he was wondering why he felt so desperate right now to save this. She was his best friend and he didn't want that reputation of asshole prick in his own mind. The lack of control he had right now was unsettling and he didn't like how she made it sound that he would just walk away, he didn't like walking away when it mattered and knowing when to was an important choice as well.

---

lyrics: love hurts - incubus
words: 904
notes:

It was a shame, she was sitting now jogging her memory back to the countless laughs and inside jokes her and Jack had in the past. The nights they spent talking about anything, patrolling the castle with no direction. The two were very close, ever since her first year. Jack was a year older, and she knew she'd miss him when he was gone, but now not so much. This just hurt too much to wash away with words. Words and thoughts, that he didn't even know the meaning behind. Was she upset he ditched her, not really. More along the lines of that was her night to tell him, how she felt about him, and there he was speaking about another girl. It broke her down to the point where she didn't want to care about him. She just wanted it all to stop digging into her soul. Ana tried to remain stronger, even at her weakest moments. She was stubborn and couldn't bring herself to speak her feelings right now. Then he spoke, and she narrowed her eyes not looking at him, Jack thought it was about the whole leaving her at the ball. Ana sighed and let him speak of Chloe and she shook her head trying to indicate he was off. She couldn't go one letting him speak and guess about other girls. "No!" She snapped. "It's not about her or the other one, it's about you Jack." She hissed, pushing him away now mentally. No she couldn't handle this, it needed to stop. To stop hurting her before she started to hate.

Hate. Ana never thought she could feel such a thing, and yet she couldn't hate Jack ever. She could hate what he was doing, and for his blindness, but never him as a person. They went through too much for that. Jack didn't think she was weak, but crying wasn't her thing. Jack knew it took a lot to make Ana cry and for something to eat at her this much, where she didn't want to be herself there was a problem. Jack tried to move her hair from her face and she gestured to push his hand away. She couldn't let him see her low like this. How could a friend do this to her, knowing all she went through in the previous years with men. Of course he could fall back on the fact he didn't know why she was truly upset, but someday he'd learn. Ana always told Jack everything, even some things he didn't want to hear, so she didn't know why this was so hard. Jack needed to see what it felt like to be shut out, needed to see how it felt to be in her shoes right now so she needed to give it to him straight. Then world around her paused, and she could hear her beating heart pounding in her chest. The silence felt so strange, and she slowly looked over to him giving him a glare.

"You want to know what's wrong with me Jack? You, you're the problem, you seem to just float around where you see it fit. You have so many girls that just adore you don't you?" She asked raising her perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Fuck it, Jackson Pucey is so prefect he can't even keep the one girl he loved. Chloe didn't even want to be faithful to you, she saw herself happier flirting with other males. And Eva she didn't want to commit to you because lets face it, you're not worth the time and hardly boyfriend material." Ana said not losing his gaze. "I'm disappointed in you, and I'm sure all your friend, hell even your twin sister think your a disgrace. A common, replaceable, male whore. Let's face it you're easy." She added. Ana wasn't done. She got to her feet and pushed her hair out of her face. "One is too many and a million is never enough. You can spend the rest of your life, hoping for the right girl. Yet when she does come she'll see you're just an egotistical jerk, who is insecure and can't have just one because he can't keep a steady relationship. It's pathetic." She was done now, done with him and her harsh dose of reality. "But you have to live with that, I don't. So piss off." She said taking her book, and she walked away with nothing but a smile on her face. The broken feeling was gone, and now she was just numb looking for her next step in life, Jackson free.

Tagged: Jack PuceyWearing: Click Words:767 Note: Damn Ana Credits: Shawn![/center]

Jack couldn't remember the last time he had felt so lost, yes the whole Eva thing had left him a bit lost but this was involving someone that mean more to him than Eva ever had. When he broke up with Chloe despite the fact that he had still been very much in love with her because of his own insecurities, what was this now? A best friend that was refusing to talk to him, open up to him unlike when she normally was free to speak about whatever she wanted with him and he would keep her secrets safe. This only showed him that just because your best friend was a girl did not mean you understood women, that was abundantly clear as of the recent events. Chloe wasn't speaking to him despite having seduced him the night of the ball, Eva wasn't speaking to him as they had run into each other that same night and now Ana wasn't either. Jack tried to pick through the memories in his mind of what could have possibly done or possibly missed, it wasn't her birthday, a family member had not died. Maybe it was time to consult his twin sister on this matter, but he was starting to realize that by the time he could get to her he would have already lost Ana. When she snapped back at him he felt a sinking feeling, he was very cold on what exactly was happening and she was only growing more and more frustrated with him unlike he had ever seen her. Jack had only ever seen Ana this angry a few times and it was never directed toward him and he had been able to be there to hold her and calm her down until she cried or calmed down but there was no fixing this.

How was this about him? Now he really wanted to know what he had done and she wasn't going to tell him. There was nothing more frustrating and he'd only seen such behavior with his own parents as hi mother drank her depression away as his father picked up the pieces until she decided she wanted to get better. Ana knew that, she knew everything about him and how that affected him and yet she acted this way. When Jack reached out to comfort her, push her hair out of her face so he could look at her she pushed his hand away and more and more he felt pushed out of her circle and sitting outside of the stone gates that had guards and a moat at this point. Finally, she seemed to snap and not only did she use his full name but she brought in the name of the girl that he was still in love with and that only started to make him a little mad. Why was she dragging her into this? Jack stood up when she did and he only stood there to take her words as each dagger was thrown accurately at him. When she was done he just stood there and mostly it was because of shock at the fact that his now former best friend had just bitched him out. From the sound of it, this was something that had been building for quite sometime and he wondered just how long. Is this what she really thought of him? Is this what people saw him as? Just a man who couldn't keep a relationship and couldn't keep it in his pants? She stormed off and he sat down back on the bench. Is that why Chloe really acted that way? The right girl maybe when she did finally come around and find him she would see his reputation and leave before she just became a statistic.

Jack couldn't even bring himself to call after Ana and keep trying to talk to her for her words still rang in his head, over and over again bring down his ego a notch each time.

---

lyrics: love hurts - incubus
words: 667
notes: END