Somewhere only we know [James]

Every time we lie awake. After every hit we take

EVERY FEELING THAT I GET, BUT I HAVEN'T MISSED YOU YET

Albus had spent the whole night with his boyfriend, at their sleepover. Not once did they argue, it seemed like the prefect day in all actuality. Albus and Frankie had went to the carnival, they came home and watched a movie, stayed up and talked more then half the night away, and he grew closer to his boyfriend. It was special to him. Albus had kissed Frankie goodbye that morning and went home to get dressed, and do his normal activities. Albus walked outside into the back yard for a moment taking in his surroundings. He was in his pajama pants, and a t shirt, from the previous night. His blue eyes skimmed the backyard in memory. Albus couldn't help to think the backyard looked a lot bigger when he was a boy. He was never one to really run around with all his cousins, but more of a loner explorer. Albus enjoyed many years in his backyard. He even made friends amongst the harmless garden snakes. After taking in a few breaths he climbed up the stairs to the back deck and entered through the door. Albus walked into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. He'd need something to his sanity with Lily gone for the weekend.

Albus rolled his eyes at the thought of spending his Saturday with his brother, of course he'd stay in his room avoiding James at all cost, but it was harder when his mother and sister were not home. Go figure, they'd be helping his grandmother, with shopping in Diagon Alley. Albus wasn't going to let the fact he was sharing the house with his older brother ruin his day, he was in a good mood from waking up next to Frankie and only few things could make him sour. Albus took his morning meds, and then made his way to the shower. He peeked in James' room and strangely didn't see him in there. Where could he be? Albus thought shrugging, it didn't matter. He made his way to the bathroom and enjoyed the hot water running down his body from the shower. Albus washed away the sweat from the previous day and felt relieved when he got out. Making his way to his room he got dressed. The boy wore his black cargo shorts, and a navy blue t shirt. Albus was never really one to be too concerned with his style when he'd be spending the day in. The boy thought he'd start by writing his thoughts in his journal, he walked over to the draw where he usually hid it, but after lifting a few books he realized... "JAMES!" Albus shouted storming down the hall into his brother's room.

Albus kicked dirty clothes out the way, making his way to where he'd think James would hide something worth while. He opened draws, James' dresser and even pulled the blankets off his brother's bed, searching frantically. If James read the contents of that diary it was like looking into Albus' soul. The thought made him angry as he eyes brimmed with tears. There was two things you didn't do, mess with his privacy and mess with moods. But James didn't realize he just did both. Albus caught his brother doing this in the past, it was highly annoying back then, but now he actually had secrets to keep. Things that were personal about he and Frankie, and things about Aiden, and Eva and...his eyes widened at the thought of James reading that whole three months of torture he endured from Ben. Albus hadn't told James about dating Ben because, it didn't work out. Nor did he think his brother would give him approval. The depths of his heart were in that little book, and the footsteps in the hall meant one thing. Albus looked up from the mess he was sitting in to see his brother. He sat there flustered for a moment, before getting to his feet. "James where the hell were you?" Albus snapped glaring at his brother, he tripped over something as he made his way closer. "Where is it? I know you have it, no one else would!" Albus accused. His mother didn't enter his room when he wasn't home, Lily wasn't home all weekend, and that left one suspect. One that would do such a thing. "Why would you read my journal? The depths of my soul are written on those pages, now seem so violated." Albus hissed dramatically. Albus wrote everything in there, his self destructive thoughts, the abuse he suffered back in the fall. He wasn't sure if he was going to break down, or have a tantrum, but one was coming on.

TAGGED;;James Potter
WORD COUNT;; 784
LYRICS;;[/color]3 days grace - I hate everything about you
CREDITS;;[/color]Krys!
NOTES;;[/color] Time for some brother bonding!
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Breaks from school were always a combination of happy times and not so happy times. For James potter, it was usually a not so happy time, especially this last year. Being home nowadays was usually a bad time for James, if only because he was often reminded about the horrific sight he had seen when he came home at the end of last year, when he found his father lying dead in the kitchen. It was hard for the seventh year to get that image out of his head and it haunted him most nights, which often led to him waking up in a cold sweat. When he was at Hogwarts, he was able to at least block it out most of the time, except for when he slept, and it helped him get through his days better. But being here at home, all he could think about was his father and the sight of his dead body. He hated it, but he has yet to tell anyone either. He doesn’t see a need or reason to inform anyone of this and he has kept it to himself for almost a year now.

This current weekend, it was just James and Albus home since their mother and Lily had gone to visit their grandmother and do some shopping in Diagon Alley. James was both fine and annoyed with the idea, but that was simply because he and Albus just didn’t get along and, in James’ opinion, Albus was a total tightwad. James often wished that his brother let loose every once in a while and didn’t so prissy most of the time, but James was sure his brother wouldn’t know how to actually have fun if he was forced to. James was sure he and Albus would get along a whole lot better of Albus just lightened up sometimes, but getting him to do that would be like pulling a tooth from a dragon on a good day. And it was because of this that James sometimes snuck into Albus’ room to steal his diary. He found it a bit funny that his brother kept a diary, but that was how James ever learned anything about Albus and what was going on with his life. Albus had spent the night at Frankie’s next door, so it gave James ample time to nick it and read it.

James didn’t usually find much of importance or intrigue in his diary, and he mostly poke fun at what he read. This time, however, James found something that threw him for quite a loop and it made him extremely angry, and not just at Albus. Knowing that he wouldn’t be home till the next morning, James too that night alone at home to confront his supposed best friend about what’s happened between him and his little brother and why he was never told about it, or why his friend would even do that to Albus, or anyone at all. When Ben had showed that night after James called him over, he was sure Ben had no idea why James wanted him there. It was likely assumed that it was for some hanging out and talking about girls, though now James realized that Ben wasn’t just into girls and that his best friend had lied to him for however long now. It bothered James more than he could say and it was all about to come out because James wasn’t going to be idle about it any longer.

Ben had been surprised when James didn’t look pleased to see him, or eager to get started on their usual banter whenever the two roommates hung out. When James brought up his brother, Ben had been even more surprised but James didn’t let him play that innocent ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ card. Not today, not ever again. James laid into Ben with more than just his words, and sent eh boy on his way with a black eye and a busted lip. James had told Ben to think about that the next time he thought of laying a hand on anyway, and had expressed his sheer disappointment in his now former’s friend’s actions. He would deal with Albus later, after he came home from Frankie’s. Albus may be angry that James took his diary, but it wasn’t anywhere near as angry as James was this his brother allowed this to happen and didn’t ever tell him about it. James would have done something as soon as he was told, even if Albus would assume James wouldn’t care. The hell with that; James cared more than Albus could ever imagine, and he was going to prove it.

James had gone for a walk that morning. He needed the time to think about what he was going to say before Albus came home. He had only just walked into the door when he heard Albus scream his name and James smirked as his eyes lifted upwards to the ceiling where he heard Albus walking around. He’s probably going into my room to look for his diary now, he thought to himself as he then began to make his way upstairs to talk to his brother. James found Albus in his room and he looked pissed. “I went for a walk,” he answered calmly to his brother who was seething as he started to come towards him. Albus had then asked him where it was, though not saying at first what it was, and then asked why he would read his journal and how he felt violated because of it. James blinked his eyes at Albus. “Why would you not tell me that Ben was abusing you?” he asked flatly. He knew that Albus would not be pleased with his question, or the fact that he now knew about it, but this bigger than just reading his journal now.

[/justify]- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
he's just wearing jeans and a white t-shirt[/center][/blockquote][/color][/size][/font]

Every time we lie awake. After every hit we take

EVERY FEELING THAT I GET, BUT I HAVEN'T MISSED YOU YET

Albus was baffled how James could have sunk to this level of low. No one caught Albus going through his mess of a room. Albus was scared he'd get lost in this place, alas James thought it was fine to just intrude on his life. Brothers by chance, Albus never really got along with James. The two were way to different to even come to terms. Albus thought James was a moron with a huge shameless ego. Sad to say, the type Albus would have been attracted to if the circumstances were different. No James had not asked the be the first born child, he didn't ask to be the lime light of attention, but he was. Albus hated every moment of it, he always shadowed his big brother, unseen because of all James did. Albus being the middle child was bitter, because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't out shine James. Albus made prefect, James made quidditch captain. There was always something, and he hated his older brother for it. Deep down, he liked when he and James has softer moments, ones where James would try and drag him from his normal shell of personality, but he couldn't admit it. Not out loud, it would give James satisfaction, and he refused to cater to that over powering ego.

Albus shifted through James' room, he was in search for his diary. It really wasn't a diary, it was a thoughts journal, though James teased him in the past for it. When Albus was diagnosed with bipolar, his doctor told him to write down everything he felt. It became something to help him cope with his racy thoughts. Albus thought it was very helpful, yet some may have thought a boy his age keeping a journal was weird. When he heard James enter the house he felt himself get flustered. James has stood in the door frame with a smile on his face, like this was a joke. Albus had almost been in tears he was so pissed. After getting to his feet he walked over to his older brother and demanded to know where James was. A walk? Albus sucked his teeth, it didn't matter. What did matter was the fact he wanted his book back. Albus knew James took it, no one else liked to snoop around in his business like his older brother. Albus wondered why James did it, was he trying to find something they had in common, for another one of his attempts to be Albus' older brother. Albus looked into James' eyes as his brother spoke words forbidden to him. Albus felt his heart skip a bet at the mention of his past with Ben. James was wrong, he was so wrong it wasn't funny.

"Who do you think you are assuming something like that?" Albus snapped, he looked down thinking about his days spent with his ex, and he grew sad at the memories. Maybe Ben wasn't the best boyfriend, and he had flaws but he never hurt Albus too bad. "He didn't ab..abuse me, and why do you care anyways what goes on in my life?" Albus questioned concerned. It was none of James' business what went on in Albus' personal life. Albus didn't go searching for James' secrets, nor would he want to. Albus thought back to the first time Ben had ever showed him forceful nature, at the quidditch stands. Albus had followed him right after he got pushed against that wall. The impact on his back and the anger in Ben's eyes, was enough to make him fight to stay. Albus then remembered the last encounter, when Ben punched him in the eye to get him alone. It wasn't the right way to go around things but Albus was stubborn, and he wouldn't have listened. "It wasn't abuse, and when he was angry, I made him that way." Albus said softly looking up to James. He felt somewhat ashamed, and a little embarrassed to be caught this way. "Can I please have my journal back?" Albus asked, his emotions has been shot, and his heart was now re-shattered after all the mending he had done. Albus rubbed his wrist absently, he felt on the edge. Albus wasn't sure what was going on, he just knew James wasn't going to let him deny everything, so he'd need to prepare more mentally. James knew everything now, and Al didn't know what to do.

TAGGED;;James Potter
WORD COUNT;; 744
LYRICS;;[/color]3 days grace - I hate everything about you
CREDITS;;[/color]Krys!
NOTES;;[/color] Time for some brother bonding!
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When James had first learned of the situation with Ben, he had been deeply hurt by it. not only had his best friend and his younger brother been dating behind his back, but his best friend had been hurting his brother too, in ways that even James would never do to a female, or anyone else for that matter. How could that have happened right underneath his nose and have no knowledge of it? How could James have been so blind to it all? He was baffled by the whole thing and he had had it out with Ben the night before while Albus was over at Frankie’s for the night. Things had ended with Ben on a sour note, but that was the least of James’ worries at the moment. The more important situation in all of this was the fact that his little brother had let this all happen. James thought he was prissy, and he tells him he thinks so, but he never thought that his brother would allow for something like what he wrote about in his journal to actually happen to him. It was time to confront him and James was ready for it.

When James had first mentioned what he had read in the journal, he could see Albus’ facial expression falter and James could have sworn he saw a flash of fear and horror at the idea of him knowing about something so severe. That flash was just that, a flash, when Albus then began to speak. James’ eyebrow cocked upwards when Albus asked who he thought he was to assume something like that. Had he really just said ‘assume’ what happened? Based on what Albus wrote in his journal, or at least what James read about it, there was nothing to assume. It was in clear black and white, so James fixed his brother with an incredulous stare as Albus started to defend Ben and what had happened between him and James’ former best friend. His gaze waned when Albus asked why he even cared in the first place about what happened in Albus’ life. James realized then that the distance between him and his brother was mostly his fault and that it was unlikely that it would ever be repaired fully. James didn’t say anything yet; he wanted Albus to get it all out first.

It was only when Albus told James that it wasn’t abuse and that anything he wrote in his journal about what Ben did to him was because he had made Ben angry. James noticed that Albus’ voice changed from when he first questioned him about his journal to now when he asked for it. “Oh, come off it, Albus,” James said, his annoyance and frustration clear in his eyes and tone as he stepped further into his bedroom. “I cannot believe you are going to stand here and defend him after what he did,” James said. “I read what you wrote, Albus, I know how it made you feel. How can you even think about taking the blame for any of this?” he asked, his tone a bit softer as he managed to get a hold of his emotions. James sighed and then looked at Albus with a softer expression, one of concern. “You want to know why I care about this?” he asked Albus, unsure of whether his little brother cared to know or not. This was going to take a lot from both boys to fix, and James knew that he had to make the first move.

James knew that he was going to have to tell Albus about what happened with ben the previous night when he wasn’t home. This was hard on so many levels, but that was also mainly James’ fault. Some of it might have been out of his control, like Albus falling into that middle child spot of the family, but James was to blame for most of this. And the fact that it was his now former best friend who had facilitated a bunch of this just made it even harder for the seventh year. “First of all, I care because you are my brother, and I love you. I may not be the best older brother, but we are still family. Second of all, it bothers me that my former best friend and my kid brother were hooking up behind my back instead of just telling me about it. And thirdly, that same person hurt my brother who just let it happen and didn’t tell me,” James said to him. “And, before you reply, you should know that I spoke with Ben last night while you were at your boyfriend’s house,” James said as more of an afterthought once he had finished trying to tell Albus why he was so bothered by this whole thing, and why he cared.

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he's just wearing jeans and a white t-shirt[/center][/blockquote][/color][/size][/font]

Every time we lie awake. After every hit we take

EVERY FEELING THAT I GET, BUT I HAVEN'T MISSED YOU YET

Albus felt wrong about the feelings that surfaced at the mare thought of Benjamin Dearborn. Albus knew what he and Ben had was a different type of love, much different then the love he shared with Frankie. When dating Ben is was a risk, and Albus felt happy he got to be part of it. Ben made him feel alive, and special at one point, but at a hard price. Frankie made him feel special, and he didn't have to suffer, though the thought of losing Frankie was harder, then losing Ben. Albus remained friends with his ex boyfriend. Frankie, wasn't too thrilled about it, but the boy had no choice but to accept it. Now that James knew, he was sure Benny wasn't happy with him. It wasn't like Albus was spiteful and told James because he knew his older brother would snap. James was the protective brother, and Albus was to an extent but not like James. When their father died, Albus distanced himself, and James was trying to reunite the broken family. In Albus' eyes James was doing the right thing, but it wasn't his fault he disliked his brother so strongly. Maybe a little, but he just couldn't. Albus was now facing his brother, standing in the wrong. Albus was never wrong in his opinion, but this time it had settled in.

Albus hated one thing most of all, he could see the look of disappointment in his brother's eyes. It was effecting James, and Albus knew it would. That was one of the reasons he didn't want to let James in on his secret. Albus was Ben's secret, and he always felt the need to keep it that way. James may have not taken it so well, or had been much more skeptical if he knew. Albus was disappointed in himself, James' words hurt him more then he could say. Come off it, why didn't James believe Albus could have been part of this whole thing? Albus pushed Ben, he pushed him to the point where the boy was angry. Albus would walk away when he was upset, and Ben may have grabbed him forcefully to get his attention. As many excuses as he came up with, it didn't make the situation right. James told Albus he read the journal, he knew how Albus felt. Albus felt his lower lip quiver, he wanted to cry thinking about the past. How could he let things go that far? Albus swallowed the lump in his throat, but his mouth still felt dry. He felt anxious, and he didn't how what to say to James. His older brother caught him, he was busted.

Albus didn't think it was that big of a deal, he didn't think it was abuse back then, and he still would defend Ben. "I don't know." Albus told James, his eyes were a bit red now, from holding back the tears he didn't allow to fall. Albus felt a little light headed, so he walked over to James' bed and took a seat, folding his hands in front of him. "I take the blame because I asked him to be with me, I knew how he was, but I wanted him so badly." Albus explained. He didn't know why he was confessing but he kind of owed James something on the topic. Albus pet the spot on the bed beside him, he didn't like his brother towering over him, it made him feel on the edge. Albus licked his lips, "I had never been with anyone James, I never knew what it felt like to love someone in that way. I wasn't sure what was acceptable and what wasn't. I was so caught up in the thought that someone cared for me. I didn't think about what was healthy." Albus went on softly. Albus thought he knew romance, and he found himself in a good place when he and Ben first started to date. It wasn't like Albus was a girl, he could take his punishment when he did something wrong. Albus looked to James. Albus let his brother speak first, but he knew it was time to explain why he didn't tell his older brother.

"I didn't tell you because I was to proud to. You'd try to take it away from me. For once in my life, I had something you didn't. I had the upper hand, and that made me feel good." Albus admitted shrugging. "I didn't care about myself. When something bad would happen, I'd think back to the first night. When everything was okay. I couldn't believe it. The bruises...Frankie made me see them. It still wasn't enough proof for me. I know that doesn't make it right, but it's how I felt." Albus said, he allowed a couple teared to fall from his blue eyes and wiped his face right away. James mentioned he has already talked to Ben and he looked at James. "You didn't...hurt him did you? James really this isn't all his fault. I just..." Albus needed to stop lying to himself, he remembered what Frankie told him. How Frankie had held him those nights Ben was mad at him. Frankie didn't let him go it alone, and now James wasn't. "I didn't want this to happen like this." Albus whispered, looking down. His self esteem was very low, and he didn't even want to be sitting here. Hurt, upset, angry at himself, like James probably was.

TAGGED;;James Potter
WORD COUNT;; 914
LYRICS;;[/color]3 days grace - I hate everything about you
CREDITS;;[/color]Krys!
NOTES;;[/color] Time for some brother bonding!
[/size][/font]

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James never expected to have this conversation with his brother. He never thought he would have to, though James had found himself quite surprised by the revelation that he had read about in Albus’ journal. He hadn’t even been sure what he was expecting to find within its pages at first, but it was surely not what he did find. He probably could have kept it to himself, but James knew that was not an option after what he had read. James and Albus have never been close, and there were few people who could actually contradict that, or believe it possible. But this, his best friend physically hurting his brother; there was no way James could just forget what he had read and pretended like it never happened. How could he? How could they? Didn’t they realize he was going to figure this out eventually, and be angry with them both? And he had a right to, and he would cling to that truth forever. He wasn’t actually angry, or at least not at his brother; he was hurt that it was done behind his back, and angry that his friend would do that to his brother.

Standing there before his brother, questioning him about it, he felt like he was only alienating himself from Albus even more. He didn’t like that feeling, but he had to talk about this. This hadn’t been just Albus’ life that was affected by this whole thing, as James was now no longer friends with Ben. As much as it hurt James to end that friendship, he wasn’t going to just keep on being best friends with someone who would think that harming his little brother was okay. That was just unacceptable as far as James was concerned and he made that notion well known to Ben the night before. Now, it was time for Albus to know. He frowned when Albus took the blame because he knew how Ben was and that he wanted him so badly. “So knowing someone has a history of cheating makes it okay when they cheat on you?” he asked incredulously, though he knew the issue with Albus and ben was far worse than cheating. It was just an example and he was sure that Albus would realize that.

James watched his brother move over to his bed and sit down on it. James brought one of his hands to the back of his neck and rubbed it as he waiting for Albus to continue. James frowned once more when Albus told him that he’d never been with someone before and that he didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like. He would give his brother that, but surely Albus knew that it wasn’t supposed to feel like that. his frown deepened when Albus told him that he didn’t know what was considered acceptable and healthy. “and I get that, as it is that way with everyone who goes through this for the first time, but, Albus, did you really think him hurting you was acceptable?” James asked. “I mean, what would you think if it was Lily being hurt like you were in her first relationship?” he asked. As far as James knew, Lily didn’t have any boyfriends or situations that were like what Albus had been through, but surely Albus would have recognized it if it was happening to someone else.

James then told Albus that he did care, and why, and listened to Albus explain himself. As Albus elaborated, James found himself unable to speak. Did Albus really think that of him? The older Potter never knew it was that bad. “I wouldn’t have taken it from you, Albus,” James said with a sigh as he reached one of his hands up and ran it through his dark brown locks. “I might not have been overly pleased with the idea of my brother dating my best friend, but I wouldn’t have interfered if I knew you two really liked each other,” he said softly. “I mean, it would be the same way with Lils if she dated one of my friends; and the same threat of ‘hurt them, I hurt you’ would have applied,” he said. “Frankie’s a smart guy, who really cares about you,” James said with a crack of a smile. “No more than he hurt you,” James said in a firm tone, hoping Albus didn’t ask anything further. “And how did you expect this to happen? Or were you planning on keeping this all from me forever?” he asked.

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he's just wearing jeans and a white t-shirt[/center][/blockquote][/color][/size][/font]

Every time we lie awake. After every hit we take

EVERY FEELING THAT I GET, BUT I HAVEN'T MISSED YOU YET

Albus found his emotions running wild. He didn't like when his thoughts got racy, and he actually let tears drop from his eyes, when he never cried in front of James. Unless it was relevant to their father's death. Albus had poured out his heart to James he had to let everything think in his own mind, while James took in his words. Albus never thought things would have gotten to this, when things were over with Ben he didn't think this conversation would surface. James was clueless this whole time, and Albus was positive he wanted to keep it that way. Maybe he would have told his older brother in the future. But the two boys were never close, so why would he share what was going on in his love life? Really it wasn't his brother's business, but he pushed all that aside and shared the depths of his soul. Albus never had a romantic life before Ben. It was something new to him, and he wasn't sure if he was doing things right a lot of the time. When James asked him the question Albus narrowed his eyes. James was one to talk about cheating, far from innocent. Albus had pieced together the question seeing it was just an example. Albus shrugged. "No it doesn't make it alright, I didn't know he was like that James." Albus told his brother. Ben had a little sister, and he was sure Ben never had hit a girl before. Ben made it clear that they were both boys, and Albus needed to be treated as such. Al didn't mind, but a lot of the time he didn't have much of a say about anything. Whenever he'd object, Ben made him feel guilty and he'd cave to avoid arguments.

Albus took in a breath, he felt himself shaking a bit as he tried to sooth himself. Acceptable? Albus sighed and shook his head. "After a while I'd catch on, but you'd see the remorse in his eyes..." Albus explained. Ben had never cried in front of anyone, but he did when he hurt Albus. Al was sure that was Ben's way of being sorry, sharing such a sensitive side. James turned the situation around and asked him how would he feel if it was Lily. A spurt of rage crossed his mind at the thought of anyone harming his little sister. "I'd be very angry." Albus admitted. This wasn't about Lily, but he saw where James was coming from. James thought of Albus in the same light as their little sister? How awkward, Albus thought he made is clear he didn't like James. "That wouldn't happen to Lily, she'd have me and you to run background checks, and keep an eye on her." Albus added, he didn't want to think of anything bad happening to Lils, she was special to him. Albus got that James was trying to put it in a view he'd see, but Albus refused to see the pain. He had let those scars heal, why couldn't James see that? "It may have not been acceptable, but that's what people in love do. Not that you would know, but they accept the worst times and the best. They learn to move on from the bad times, because no matter how many bad times there are. There is always sunshine after rain." Albus said with a hint of a smile. Ben and Al had had some hard times, but he remembered the good times as well. When Ben took him to the theatre, but that night ended horrible. Albus blushed at his inner thoughts, James didn't need to know about how he felt forced to do things. Though he was sure his brother read all that.

As Albus got deeper and shared his feelings about his brother having everything, she saw the look in James eyes. Albus didn't really like to speak about this, but he hated being the middle child. James always was the popular one, always had the attention, always took the spot light. Albus was glad he had Ben in an aspect James wouldn't get. When his brother told him he would have taken it away, Albus rolled his eyes. "Oh, save it James." Albus snapped. Did he think his little brother would believe that crock of crap? Albus knew James would have been his normal spoiled self and fought for Ben's attention taking it all away from Albus. His mind was made up, he didn't want to hear it. James went on to further speak, and he smiled at the mention of Frankie's name. "He does, doesn't he? So adorable, my munchkin." Albus said laying down, closing his eyes in recollection. He blushed thinking about Frankie, and how his current boyfriend really did care about him. After having a moment, he opened his eyes. James said 'no more then he hurt you' Albus frowned and debated on weather to question it more. "James, I'm still friends with Ben...or was. He's not over me but I'd like to keep the peace." Albus scolded his brother. Had James ruined the recovery process Ben and Al had been through? When his brother asked him how long he was planning on keeping this secret Albus signed. "I didn't tell you because it was over, it didn't matter anymore to me. I moved on James, I am happy in life and you just saw me get upset. Do you think I wanted to talk about this and bring up old feelings?" Albus asked his brother. Honestly he didn't, he was in a happy place with his current boyfriend. Ben was old news.

TAGGED;;James Potter
WORD COUNT;; 943
LYRICS;;[/color]3 days grace - I hate everything about you
CREDITS;;[/color]Krys!
NOTES;;[/color] Time for some brother bonding!
[/size][/font]

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When James had asked Albus if a person would think it was okay to be cheated on if the person they were with had a history of being a cheater, he had meant it as more of an example, not a specific correlation. Albus told him he didn't know Ben was like that at first, which was believable to the older Potter since he wouldn't have thought that about Ben either, but the fact that it happened periodically made James think that his brother was more of a pushover than he ever thought he was. "I'm sure you didn't. I wouldn’t have thought that about him either," James admitted to him, "but I would have gotten out once I knew, so that it wouldn't keep happening," James told him.

Clearly he and Albus were not going to see eye to eye on this, which really bothered James because he was sure Albus would be just as frustrated as James was right now should the roles be reverse. Although, the more James thought about that, he was sure Albus would just laugh and say that James deserved it. James didn't doubt that some people deserve to be hurt, but there is a limit to what sort of pain they should be subjected to and James does not believe that anyone, guy or girl, should be physically hurt by their significant other and it be made acceptable. Albus told him that he started to catch on that it was unacceptable, but then said something about the look of remorse in Ben's eyes.

James was starting to get really annoyed now, but more so at the situation itself and not because of his brother specifically. "Oh, Albus, if he really felt remorse for what he did, he wouldn't have done it again. On an accident, one time, is one thing, but to do it repeatedly just shows that hurting you wasn't as important as he made you think it was. You don't purposely hurt the pones you love, even if you think they deserve it," he said as he ran a hand through his hair. "Unless it's your siblings, of course," he said with a half-smile, making a reference to them.

James then thought about appealing to a different side of Albus' thought process about this situation. He asked him how he would feel if this happened to Lily. He could see the look of anger on Albus' face as he thought about it, coupled with his verbal acknowledgement that he would be angry. James sighed when Albus said that it wouldn't happen to her because he and James would run background checks on any guy that close to Lily. "And you’re right, we would, if we knew about it," he said pointedly, making a point about his situation with Ben. James didn't know, which is partially why this situation is so frustrating for James.

James frowned at Albus' next comment and his brow creased as he tried to figure out what Albus was saying. He was in love with Ben? Surely not, though James wouldn't be able to say what Albus felt for him or not. "And we don't hurt the ones we love either, so your point is invalid," James said hotly, choosing not to respond to Albus' comment about James not knowing what it was like to be in love. It was true, James had no idea, but that didn't mean he didn't want to know, eventually. He was just not ready to fall in love yet, or at least not get too serious. He was still young and had his whole life to live. He didn't see a need to rush it. That was just another way he and Albus differed.

James frowned when Albus didn't believe him when he told him he wouldn't interfere with his relationship with Ben. James was sure he wouldn't, and he had explained that he wouldn't have been pleased with it, but would have accepted it if he knew that they truly liked one another. James believed that, deep in his heart, and he found that it hurt a little bit that Albus thought differently. "Fine, don't believe me. You know everything, right?" James said with a roll of his eyes. Who the hell did Albus think he was? James may not have been the best brother in years past, but that didn't mean Albus knew him. They didn't know each other at all, and that was something James was trying to fix.

James had then mentioned Frankie and he watched Albus' expression change almost instantly. He was glad that Albus was happy now, and with someone James knew would be good to him. James didn't feel like he had to have that talk with Frankie. He's known Frankie for ten years now, maybe even longer, and he knew that Frankie has always been nothing but good to Albus. He was a good friend to him and James was sure he would be an equally good boyfriend, if not better. That was the sort of person Albus needed in his life, not someone to make him feel worse about himself. James wished he could be there more for his brother, especially now, but it was likely too late and that really bothered the older Potter. Had he really made this much of a mess of everything?

When Albus asked how bad he had hurt Ben, James simply told him that he hadn't done any more than Ben had done to him. Albus didn't seem to like that response and then proceeded to tell James that he was still friends with Ben, or at least he was, and that he wanted to keep the peace. James blinked at Albus, but said nothing. He didn't know what else to say right now. Albus seemed content to stand by his belief that he deserved the abuse, but James couldn't accept that. "I understand that, but Ben isn't just some guy, Albus. He was my best friend. That is not in the past, especially if you say he still has feelings for you," James said with a sigh. "Though I am very glad you've moved on. Frankie will treat you right, and never hurt you in any way. I know that for a fact," he told his bother.

[/justify]- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
he's just wearing jeans and a white t-shirt[/center][/blockquote][/color][/size][/font]

Every time we lie awake. After every hit we take

EVERY FEELING THAT I GET, BUT I HAVEN'T MISSED YOU YET

Albus was sure neither he or his older brother would have expected Ben to be the violent type. Naturally the boy played quidditch, and he had a bit of an superior attitude at times but never violent. Albus didn't think of Ben as abusive, nor violent. Sure they disagreed to the point things got a little tense but he couldn't bring himself to believe he wasn't at fault for most of it. Albus was moody, he got irritable and snippy at the first second something went wrong. Albus didn't like not having control, when he didn't or he was afraid he tend to runaway from his problems. Ben just didn't allow that, he didn't understand Albus' issues nor take them into consideration. Albus wasn't looking for excuses, he just knew that most people who knew him understood. Even when he'd get snippy with Frankie, his boyfriend would normally bite his tongue if the issue wasn't too bad. Ben just had to have things his way, and it put Albus in an awkward position. James' words caused him to sigh heavy. What didn't his brother get about him not seeing the issues? "James, I'm not going to say this again. I didn't see it. I didn't know and the moment I did and came to my senses, when I was finally pushed too far. I did get out of it." Albus said he didn't even think James was bloody listening to him. Albus had accepted the negative with Ben, and he was blinded by love. James may have not got that because Albus was pretty sure his brother never had been in love.

Albus laid back in James' bed and thought of the situation. Albus seemed to have many reasons why it was okay for him to be treated like that. Did Albus deserve to be treated badly? Only because he thought low of himself. Could James not see the lack of self confidence his little brother really had? Sure, Albus was prissy when it came to school work, but nothing else. With the exception of he was a fantastic lover, but really he was insecure. Ben added to his insecurity with time, but for a moment he wasn't, for a moment everything felt right. "You don't hurt the ones you love, I know that James. I'm not trying to sit here an argue with you. I have my reasons for believing different. Can we leave it alone?" Albus asked, he was feeling whiny now. James said siblings were allowed to hurt one another and Albus smirked devilishly. "Of course." he said softly with a roll of his eyes. James didn't mean Albus was allowed to hurt him, it was certainly clear it was the other way around. Albus didn't waste his time putting James down, or fighting with him. Only when he was pushed did the two physically clash. James brought up Lily, and Albus had said Lily wouldn't be going through those types of things because she'd have them to protect her. James spoke and Albus rolled his eyes. "If you knew every detail of my life, it'd drive me mad." Albus stated crossing his arms over his chest. James was irritating him now.

Albus had thought he was in love with Ben when they dated for those months. James may have not been able to break the bond they had, but Albus didn't want to risk telling his brother. James had always had everything, and he wasn't sharing his privacy too. Funny thinking about it, he didn't even have that anymore. At James' question Albus grinned "Yes, I do know everything." Albus said with hints of sarcasm in his tone. The younger Potter actually believed he did know everything, he knew his brother would catch on. The boy's changed the subject and Frankie was mentioned. Albus had a little moment when thinking about his boyfriend, he had been very happy. Albus didn't need anyone's approval when it came to dating, but he was happy most of his family liked his current relationship. Albus watched James, as his brother looked like something weighed heavy on his mind. Albus wished he knew what was going on in there sometimes. James' mind could have been a dangerous place, but he wondered if they ever thought similarly. Of course Albus was prissy and James was more laid back but, surely they had to agree on something. It had been a long, cold road without his brother in his life. Albus just had to remember he was the one who placed the distance between them.

Albus hoped James hadn't hurt Ben too bad. Albus knew how strong his brother was, and also with how protective the older Potter was, Ben may have been lucky if he walked home. Albus wasn't much of a fighter but he and James play fought over the years, so he knew there was strength and skill there. Albus sat up when James sighed and he looked into his lap. "James, I guess I'm...sor..sorr" It wouldn't come out, he took in a breath. "I shouldn't have dated your best friend. I never thought it would have ended this way, and I kind of ruined something you put a lot of time into." Remorse, he did feel bad for ruining James' friendship. It was just one of those things he didn't think about. Albus was impulsive and he didn't think about how everything would effect James. When James spoke of Frankie he blushed a little bit and giggled to himself. "I think I'm in love with Frankie. He really does treat me right, but next date I am laying back and letting him do all the work." Albus had picked the dates thus far, he wanted to see if Frankie could organize something special for them to do together. Albus still felt bad James had lost his best friend, so the younger Potter smiled and had an idea. "Since I messed up, I think I should make it up to you. How about today, I'll let you take me somewhere. Or we can do something together. No objections, just some brother time?" Albus said, secretly he'd enjoy spending a little time with his brother, but he put it out there as if it was a privilege. James may see it that way, because Albus never offered willingly to do anything with James.

TAGGED;;James Potter
WORD COUNT;; 1064
LYRICS;;[/color]3 days grace - I hate everything about you
CREDITS;;[/color]Krys!
NOTES;;[/color] Time for some brother bonding!
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James could see that Albus was getting upset at the situation, and that James had pried and was still talking about what happened with Ben. But how could he not? James was just as much affected by this as Albus was, just in an entirely different way. What bothered James about it was that Albus didn't seem to see or understand that. Okay, so it was Albus who had been hurt by Ben, that was true, but it was James who was ignorant of it all and was forced into this position because neither could tell him that they had feelings for one another. And yeah, maybe James would have gotten mad at first, but what older sibling wouldn't be upset with their younger brother or sister dating their best friend? If something bad happened between them, like with what happened between Albus and Ben, it would put James in a spot to have to choose between the two. James and Albus may not get along all that well, but they were still family and James would always choose that over a friendship, even if Albus didn't believe it.

There were many things that James could say to Albus right now, but the older Potter knew that anything said would only make this whole situation worse. James didn't understand why Albus stayed in such a relationship, since what James read in his journal indicated that it happened over the course of the entire relationship between Albus and Ben. And Albus clearly didn't understand why this bothered James so much. That thought alone bothered James because he would have thought that would be obvious. That was why James brought up Lily and the idea of her ever being in the same situation Albus had been in with Ben. Albus didn't seem to like that idea very much, and James had hoped his point would have been made, but then Albus tried to say that Lily would never end up in such a situation because both of her brothers would have been there. And that was true, but they'd only be there if they knew about it, which James couldn't help but say. And, one again, Albus gave an excuse in regards to it, but James just ignored it because he knew Albus was only trying to be difficult.

James snorted when Albus agreed that he knew everything, but James kept his mouth shut. He wanted to say that Albus could only wish that he knew everything, and that he needed to get his head out of his ass at some point or another, or he'd ruin everything he's worked towards in his life. Sometimes James felt that Albus was a bit too arrogant for his own good, and that it would get him into trouble someday, and probably soon. James hoped Albus didn't try to pull this shit with Frankie, because James was sure there was only so much Frankie could take, though he couldn’t speak for the Ravenclaw so he said nothing at all. It was then that James changed the subject, since he was getting too aggravated with his brother's attitude, and seemed to find one that made Albus smile. He knew Frankie was good for Albus, probably the best Albus could ever do, and he knew that Frankie would help Albus realize how special he was, and that he didn't need to be put in his place to feel that way. And Albus really needed that.

When Albus showed concern for Ben's physical health after James told him that he hadn't hurt Ben any more than Ben had hurt Albus, James got annoyed. How could he still defend that piece of trash? James was flabbergasted by it, but he didn't say anything on the matter. Albus told him that he had kept it from James because it was in the past and that he had moved on, but that wasn't the end of it, not for James. James had told Albus that it wasn't just a clear cut 'we're over' thing because Ben was supposed to be James' best friend, and that he was friends with someone who had hurt his little brother in such a way that no one should ever have to endure. James really hoped that Albus understood now, that this wasn't just about him and Ben, and that James was a part of this too, whether Albus liked that or not. And it worked because Albus started to speak, and James could swear he heard an apology coming, even though Albus couldn't get the words out.

James nodded his head, though he didn't say anything about it, when Albus told him that he never should have dated his best friend and that he never expected it to end the way it did, and that he had ruined something for James that James had been working towards for years. James had never wanted to make this out to be all about him, because it wasn't, at all, but the fact that Albus chose his best friend and allowed things to get to the point that they did, showed James that Albus didn't think about anyone but himself, and that it was all about how he felt and no one else. That hurt James, more than he could express or admit, and he hoped that things between him and Albus would change for the better, and soon. Trying to bring this conversation back to a happier tone, James told Albus that he has happy he was with Frankie and that he knew Frankie would treat him right. Albus seemed to agree and James smiled. "I'm sure he will rise to the occasion perfectly," James told his brother with a smirk.

James then ran his fingers through his brown hair and sighed once more. They had both really made a mess of everything, hadn't they? James knew it was hard for Albus to admit such a thing, as it was for James, so he assumed that neither Potter would actually say it out loud. And that was fine because James was content just thinking it to himself. Albus had then spoken again and James didn't bother hiding his surprise when Albus told him that he wanted to make it up to jams, for costing him his best friend, and that they spend a bit of time together. Albus told James he'd let him take him anywhere he wanted, and that Albus wouldn't object or complain. "Brother time?" James repeated, as if he hadn't heard Albus right. They’ve never spent quality time together, ever, and James was surprised by Albus' offer, though pleased at the same time. "Sure," James said with a soft smile. Now the question was where would they go?


James had to think about it for a moment, though not making it seem like he had no real interest in spending time with Albus. He did and he was glad to be given the opportunity to do so. It would be their first and, hopefully, not their last. "Not sure what to do, since I didn't really have plans for today or anything," James told him honestly. "Although, there is a new movie that came out the other day I wanted to see," he said, "but I don't know if you’d like it. It's a slasher film," James said with a grin. He wans't sure if Albus liked those horror and gory type movies, especially since he knew that his brother was more of a romance kind of guy. "Maybe we could start by going out for lunch? Talk a bit? Not about Ben though, obviously," James said with a smirk. He was sure the boys were done talking about Ben and all the mischief he's managed. "Or maybe we could go to the park for a bit. I don't really know what you like to do, so I don't know what to pick," he said honestly. He didn't want to pick something Albus would hate.

[/justify]- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
he's just wearing jeans and a white t-shirt[/center][/blockquote][/color][/size][/font]

Every time we lie awake. After every hit we take

EVERY FEELING THAT I GET, BUT I HAVEN'T MISSED YOU YET

Clearly this whole situation had upset him. Albus was a jumbled mess of mixed emotions. He had too much pride to apologize, but he was hurt the whole thing had came up in the first place. James had been very sneaky to invade his privacy in the first place, and Albus didn't understand why he read his journal to begin with. It always seemed like his room was off limits to his siblings, and now he felt he had to find a new way to protect his privacy. Albus had mixed emotions when thinking about his first boyfriend. He cared about Ben a lot, because that was his first, Ben would always have that over anyone. Yet there was a part of him that regretted dating the older Gryffindor. Ben had it all those dark features, that attitude, the boldness. Albus just wasn't ready for all that. In the end he didn't know he was playing with fire, it was dangerous for him to be in that type of relationship. Not because of the small amounts of pain he faced, but the suicide mindset that crept in his head every time something went wrong. Albus didn't want to tell his brother about that, he didn't like to discuss things that brought up his mental disorder, but he was sure the older Potter read it. It was hard to talk about, and it was harder to see the mistakes he made letting himself settle for what he had. It was mind boggling how bad he let things get. Dad would have been disappointed.

Albus wondered if Frankie was ever going to tell him about the crush that had been a secret. If he hadn't dated Ben, if it would have just remained a crush and where would he and the Ravenclaw stand? Albus was glad things went the way they did, and when he did kiss Frankie he was lonely and wanting that affection he knew was there. Albus hadn't been thinking much that night on the Astronomy tower but a bond action opened a door. One he never wanted to close. Albus had been rather arrogant when speaking to his brother. Only because he knew what he felt when he was with Ben. Albus knew from watching James through the years. His brother was spoiled, at least by their mother, hence Albus hated that bloody woman. So automatically he assumed James would have tried to stop he and Ben from dating. Albus was very intelligent. When James snorted at the fact he said he knew everything he licked his lips. Defensive. "Oh shove it James, you know I know how you act when your don't have you way. Something like that wasn't for you to have a say in. I was in that relationship not you." Albus said, he didn't like James thinking he knew exactly what was going to happen if he did find out back when Albus was dating his best friend.

Al was sure his brother would have needed time to think about it. Then it would have made Ben skeptical of losing James, and then either way he'd lose Ben. Albus wasn't hearing anything else, even if James had gave Ben the whole you hurt him, I hurt you speech who was to say Ben wouldn't think it was awkward? "Ben would have left me if you found out, so either way I'd be in a loss, so again I do know everything when it concerns my relationship." Albus stated, and he wasn't finished. "He made that very clear to me James, he would have done anything to keep me a secret, and he'd pick you over me. So there again you win." Albus stated closing his eyes. He remembered his talks with Ben, and how he'd deny dating Albus if James were to find out. As Albus knew it was a strong friendship, and he didn't mean as much. As much as he told himself it was love, Albus knew he was just obsessed with the fact he was dating. His mania did that to him, made it hard not to be overly happy when things were in his favor. Albus was kind of sad that Ben told him he was second, and maybe that should have been the indicator to leave, but he didn't.

When James got off the topic that generally upset him he couldn't help to smile when thinking about his munchkin. Albus felt like a teen age girl when thinking about Frankie, he even found himself fan girling from time to time. It was a less tender topic for him, so naturally his mood shifted back to normal. The defensive attitude that he just gave James came from two things, his brother basically mocking him in the fact that he knew he'd lose Ben if he had told him. Then the fact that be basically laughing his his face when Albus stated he knew everything. Albus was book smart that was no lie, but he also knew more then James in this situation therefore his brother needed to shut it. James may have not knew he'd be taken it away from Albus, but he was sure his little snippy attitude he just tossed James' way would have proved that. Albus had told James Frankie was going to pick the next date, and he was going to let his man do the work next time and he smirked at James' words. "I'm sure he will too, he's hardly romantic, but he tries for me. It's adorable you should see it." Albus said. He knew that Frankie wasn't the romantic type, but he also knew his boyfriend changed accordingly to what he liked most of the time. Well, at least when it came to romance. Just like Albus changed and became brave for Frankie to ride all those rides. It was something they worked on mutually.

Albus was a bit sad that he did cost James his best friend. It was one positive trait he took on from his parents, remorse. Albus could be arrogant, and he could be harsh and act like he didn't care but he knew if it were James dating Frankie and it cost him his best friend, he'd be upset as well. Albus didn't like to see James upset, as much as he liked to piss him off intentionally this was not that type of situation. The brothers never had had a strong friendship. They never really cared in invaded in one another's life. James did more then Albus at least. He always knew his brother tried to patch up the parts of them that were broken but his pride was very strong. Albus put up and emotional wall against his mother, and older brother. As well as most of their large family. Only because he hated being the outcast. In the end, he had pushed himself so far away he really was the outcast. Albus had to make up for this some how, and if James didn't have his best friend to hangout with Albus would fill the void. He knew James would be thrilled he wanted to put their differences aside and spend some quality time together. A smirk crossed his own lips when James smiled, he couldn't help it. After all the tension it was nice to see something good come from it. Albus could even admit he was glad he offered, though he knew it was no real conversation for what had happened.

James mentioned a movie and he licked his lips. Albus wasn't really into horror. "Well seeing you're not Frankie, and I don't really think I'd sit through a movie like that willingly without him..." He paused, if it would make James happy couldn't Albus do it? "I'm just used to being held during the scary parts, and you hardly fill that void. But if you really want to, I did say I wouldn't object." Albus told his brother. He was always honest, that was something he couldn't change. He would see the movie if his brother wanted to though. James had brought up lunch and a smile crossed his lips. "That's a brilliant idea, I'm famished. Your treat of course right?" Albus asked, only teasing of course. The Potter children didn't really have an issue with money, but he figured he'd add to the playful mood. "Sure, we can talk about anything. I'm an open book today, but today only." Albus said springing up to his feet. He walked over to James and looked up. "I'll just be a moment, I need to grab another shirt and my wallet." Albus told his brother as he started toward the hallway. He stopped for a moment and peeked back in his brother's room. "I do want that journal back you know, and the reason for why you went through it in the first place. You can tell me on our journey to London." Albus told James as he walked away. He went into his room and grabbed a long sleeved button down shirt to wear over his t shirt. He put it on, grabbed his wallet then went back to James' room. "I'm ready." He said with a grin. He was actually a little excited about this. "James how are we getting to London, please tell me you're not driving.."

TAGGED;;James Potter
WORD COUNT;; 1557
LYRICS;;[/color]3 days grace - I hate everything about you
CREDITS;;[/color]Krys!
NOTES;;[/color] Kinda long sorry
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