Case of the Ex [Frankie]

Frankie,

Hey... So I have this huge issue, I ran into my ex's fist a couple days ago, and I was 'involved' with a fight, there fore I got detention! Me! Hard to believe I know but any who, he started to talk to me about him and I and he said he still loves me, and I told him how I felt yet he held me, and wiped away my tears. I feel like I'm mind fucked, and I can't help to have these feelings but I do. I know you and I had an amazing date the other day, I just don't know how to deal with all these emotions surfacing.

You know how I block negative things out in my mind, to heal myself so I don't have to grieve them? Well this is the first time I have come in contact with him since we split and I'm hurt and confused and sad.

I miss you though.

I know you don't want to hear all I'm telling you. Yet I felt kind of guilty and I know you can help he get past this. The way he looks at me isn't alright, I don't like when he looks me in the eyes because he can see into my soul I swear. I'm strong, and I told him I don't need him but I can't help my predicting... :'[

Love, Alby

al,

I won’t lie to you when I say that it hurts me to hear this. Not only that you were injured in a fight I know you weren’t really involved in, but the fact that your ex is now trying to win you back. The fact that he punched you just to get you to hear him out should tell you something, despite the sentimental words he threw your way once he got you to listen.

It seems to me, though this may be somewhat biased, that he is only saying these things to you because he knows it is what you want to hear. And I have to say that it pains me that he is forcing you through all of this. If he truly loved you, why would he do this to you? I can’t say he doesn’t love you, because I am not him, but I just don’t understand how someone can hurt the people they love in such ways.

You need your closure; there is nothing wrong with that. We all need it from time to time, especially when things ended the way they did for you. Maybe this is your way of facing those negative feelings, forcing your mind to accept what is and that you have to move forward.

I am glad you enjoyed the day we spent together at the lake. I did too. I would love to do that again, though maybe somewhere warmer and with less snow surrounding of, of course. But I will also understand if you do not, especially given the most recent circumstances. I miss you as well. I’ve been so wrapped up with my coursework and Quidditch to really see you, something I feel I will have to change immediately.

And you’re right, I don’t want to hear it all, but it is something I won’t be able to escape, I’m sure. It is what it is though, so I will just have to deal with it. I will help you in any way that I can, and would have happily kissed your tears away that day if I could’ve. And you are strong. So strong. And you are someone very special. I know that you will be able to get through this. All you have to do is remember that you are the world to some people, like me and your family, and not just a small piece of one.

And just know, that you do have someone waiting for you… me.

forever frankie

Frankie,

I know he does have weird ways of getting my attention at times. Yet you know how stubborn I am. If he just asked me I probably would have walked right by him. I told him he doesn't deserve my attention. The thing is when I wanted attention in the past he persisted in being selfish, so I learned not to give in to his wants.

I kind of got aggressively physical with him, but I'm smaller so I doubt I phased him. I shouldn't have done that though, I was so angry and when he yells it scares me. It brings out this side of me that I can't control.

If he was saying them because I wanted to hear them, he would just remain silent. Ben knows I didn't want to hear him say anything, I was over it. I still am I just let it get to me. I hate bringing it up because you and I have gotten so close. I know how jealous you can be at times. I also know it's just because you love and you are protective though. I assure you I meant nothing bad by that.

Yeah I do need closure, I guess when we spoke of all that was wrong with my relationship I just walked up to him and gave it to him bluntly. I never really explain to him why we were over, yet if he accepted it for this long, he may have not cared...or I hurt him that much where he didn't want to speak more on it. Or we could go with that I do want to hear 'Albus you have all right to break up with me, I'm selfish and I understand you can't be with me for being the way I am.'

Frankie you have no clue, I tried to hard to fix it and he made it sound like I didn't. Like basically said you fight for the ones you love, and I didn't fight for him. You know I did. I loved him and I may still have some love for him. I just not in love with him, I'm over him. I know what happens, I was there. I don't ever want to feel like that again.

I know he cares about me but what if it's one of those want what you can't have type deals?

It's silly really...

I may be accepting these emotions, but I am feelings like I broke a part of him. I never have seen him cry in all my years of knowing him, yet around me he does..what does that mean anyways. Then I get to the point where I think, It didn't matter when I was crying so why should I care. I swear I'm a Slytherin for a reason, I have this dark side...

As for another date, there is a Hogsmeade weekend coming up! I think we can arrange something...erm... fun? Only thing is there are few things we have yet to do in Hogsmeade. Gets repetitive and you know my lack of enthusiasm for things I've done over and over. I would like to spend a night with you as well, we could go to the room of requirement and I'm sure it will posses something great for us, we can cuddle <3

I'd like to believe I am the world to people Frankie. I just have low self esteem and I settle for, when I should set standards. You want to kiss my tears away, yeah? Your so adorable sometimes, I blushed reading this. You can't do that!

...You'd wait for me?

Love Alby

al,

You’re right, you probably would have. And I can sort of see the anger in his face as you did that. It’s sort of funny, if you think about it. Sometimes we all need a taste of our own medicine to see what our faults are, no matter how big or small they may be.

You what? Really? Holy shit! I would have loved to see that, if only because you’re so little and he’s so big. But I am glad that you were able to stand up for yourself. Being assertive is good. So is standing up for yourself. You don’t deserve to be pushed around and you shouldn’t let him try and do that to you.

Maybe it was what he thought you wanted to hear then. Maybe he figured since things ended the way they did, you were still pining for him and thought that him telling you such things would win you back. Love does funny things to us all, Albus. I know that you know that. And you’re right, I am very protective of you. How can I not be? You’re my best friend. Sometimes I even think you’re my soul mate, but that might be a different conversation for a different time.

I can see where that would be confusing. His passive acceptance of you just saying it was over could mean that he didn’t really care, or it could mean that he was trying to figure out why since you didn’t give a reason. And that he had to go over all your encounters to know for himself. Though, I don’t see what took him so bloody long to ‘punch you in the face’ to find out. Maybe it was because he knew about us, and that you had started to move on from him…

I know, Albus. I know. And if he cannot see that, then he is a fool, or just still that selfish to think of only himself. I don’t ever want you to feel like that again. And I can promise you that I would never make you feel that way, or let anyone else make you feel that way. No one should ever have to go through that. Ever.

You know what I am going to say about him caring about you. While I don’t doubt that he does to an extent, he shouldn’t put you through what he does if he did care that much about you. And, if I may be so blunt, so what if you made him cry. What about all the tears he’s made you spill? And yes, you are a Slytherin for a reason. You’d be my roommate (wink, wink) if you weren’t. And you may have a dark side, but I am more than sure it isn’t that dark. We all have a dark side, to an extent. Some of us just have darker sides than others do.

Hogsmeade sounds great! Dare I ask what sort of fun you’re intending on making me succumb to? Well, we could always not go down to Hogsmeade, and find something to do up here in the castle. Or go for a half day down there, to get some chocolates and such, and then find something fun to do with them later. I am sure we can entertain ourselves.

I think I can manage a night in the Room of Requirement. Would a weekend be okay with you? That way we don’t have to worry about rising too early for class? We could sleep in, have breakfast in bed… the whole nine yards. Merlin, I sound so corny. See what you do to me?

You are the world to people. Might not be every person, but to enough of us that it should make you feel like you could take on the world and then some. And yes, yes I do. And I will next time I see you. Well, if there are any to kiss, of course. And why can’t I? You’re adorable when you blush, even though I cannot see you doing it right now.

And I've waited this long, haven't I?

forever frankie

Frankie,

Well I don't think he liked that dose or reality. It made him want to walk away, until I broke down that is. As for me being little, I get huge quantities of strength when I'm angry, how do you think I death with James all these years? *snickers* I liked sticking up for myself, however you know I don't see the need for violence, you and I have that in common. Though I'd hate to be the person who tampered with you.

I think I am starting to learn that love makes you do funny things. It blinds you in a way, scary stuff it is. I need to be more cautious to whom I hand my heart out to. Yet I think you've been holding it for the last couple weeks. I mean, what?

Envy is not attractive, unless it's on you. I think I'm okay with you being jealous and protective. Your right I am your best friend, and soul mate? *blushes when reading* Another conversation.

Selfish is an understatement, and your too sweet. I know you wouldn't make me feel that way. I know if anyone else tried they'd be in trouble. I guess I went through it though as a learning experience, can't let that happen again.

Aww Frankie no one deserves to cry no matter what they do. I know I am not always concerned with, my well being but I wish nothing bad on anyone else. I'm not really spiteful, I can be a little manipulative though. It's a gift and a curse.

Your roommate you say? Oh well then, you would never sleep be able to alone, we would have to cuddle all the time and I could have persuade you into whispering me naughty things in French before bed. Oh that sounds fun and sexy, can we do it!? [getting ahead of myself]

Do you think I'm clingy?

We could go grab some chocolates, and what do you want to do with them due tell me? I like this flirty side, I have never seen this side of you. So glad you told me about your crush, it's almost hard to believe we have come so far.

I think this all could be organized for the next time we have a date. Saturday, we could do Hogsmeade for a bit then come back here and sneak to the room of requirement. There who knows what I'll make you succumb to [winks] Breakfast in bed sounds romantic and sweet, I'm swooning here cut it out.

As for kissing my tears away, I think that wont be necessary. I'll just take some kisses from you. I miss them as well. Okay I am having a moment... Also it may be adorable for you to watch, yet I don't feel adorable. I feel shy and venerable!

That you have, I am happy for it. I'd wait for you too <3

Love Alby

al,

Oh, I know that. I’ve seen it. I meant strictly in a physical size way, naturally. I am glad you like sticking up for yourself. You should definitely do that more often. But I can agree with you about the violence. It isn’t a necessity of life, however even some occasions do call for a bit of brute force. I can hold my own, as you know, but I would definitely not go looking for trouble. I’ve got better things to do.

Love definitely makes us all crazy, and blinds us to some of the most horrible truths about a person. And because we love them, we tend to brush it off and act like it isn’t a big deal. Yet, if we were on the outside looking in, we would see that it was a huge problem and try to warn someone else off about it.

Oh, so you’re saying that you like it when I turn green then? -snorts- i’ll make it a point to use a color changing charm next time I see you -winks- I think that is definitely a conversation we will have to have in the future, especially after that comment -grins-

As long as you know that, mate. And it was definitely a learning experience. One I hope you never have to repeat. And, you’re right, no one deserves to cry. Especially you. And I wouldn’t exactly say it is spiteful. Like I said, everyone deserves to get a taste of their own medicine sometimes. Some people just don’t realize how much they hurt others until they are hurt in the exact way, either by them or someone else.

Oh, I’d wager my current roommates would have something to say about all that -blushes- especially if we made too much noise. Naughty words in French, eh? So that’s what turns you on, my accent. Good to know -smirks-

Clingy? Who said you were clingy? I don’t think you are. I do think that you like to be reassured that you are special, and that people care for you. Some people can look for that extra appreciation so that they never lose their self-worth. And if I have to tell you every single day that you are more than worth your weight, I will do just that. Sometimes it’s good to hear such encouraging words. They help us through our days, especially when we know there is someone waiting for us at the end of the day.

I think we just planned ourselves our next date. I’ll meet you at 11 in the Entrance Way? We can head down to Hogsmeade and get what, maybe even have a drink or two and something to eat, and then we can head on up to the Room of Requirement for the rest of the evening. I am sure we can find several things to do with some of our purchases.

You have me equally terrified and excited to find out what your plans are, Mr. Potter. But I guess I will just have to wait and see, won’t I? You miss my kisses, eh? Well, then i’ll have to see about leaving you with some the next time I see you. And you should feel adorable because you are adorable. Trust me. I’ve spent a few years adoring you.

I am glad you’re happy for it. That makes it all the more worth it. <3

forever frankie

Frankie,

In the past when I've stuck up for myself things get worst. This is why i just avoid fighting in general. You know what these boys in my house used to do to me, when I fed into their words and actions. As you said I have better things to do, like this astronomy essay in front of me. *sighs*

At least you understand this love thing. Your lucky your more experienced then me. You sound so wise and confident when you give me love advice Frankie. It's cute really. Yet will we ever fully understand something that tampers with our sanity? Doubtful.

But of course because green is so your color. It goes with your eyes. *giggles* ...yes a conversation when I'm not writing about my tragic love life, you've made me feel better thanks, I just don't know what else he will try to pull. He didn't seem like he was going to give up... Men...

I think your roommates would be highly disturbed. Yet who knows sometimes people are accepting. Ravenclaws seem to be more worried about their studies, then to be worrying about us making noise. Wait...noise what are you getting at Mister? *blushes* Frankie, your not suppose to know that kind of thing! But yes, your accent is very attractive, and maybe it turns me on a wee tiny bit.

Well someone told me I was clingy once upon a time. Yet really I think I just like to be affectionate. Clingy sounds like rubbish. I rather go with affectionate. Perhaps I do like my self confidence being buffed a bit, yet you know I'm not really into compliments. They make me red in the cheeks, and I stammer. It sounds good when you do it though, sometimes I think your just flattering me on purpose. It's got to be the eyes ey, mate?

Brilliant, a second date and I can even hold your hand this time! I am excited, you think the room of requirement could provide something like a movie, I would enjoy watching something romantic, and cuddling close. Yet if I'm that close to you, I may not be paying much attention to the movie. Defeats the purpose but is a nice excuse to snog.

Oh shush, who knows what I will come up with, you will just have to be patient. *blushes* Well then I'll look forward to those darling. They keep me going, with how sweet and passionate they are.

I guess I will just have to stay adorable, because if it keeps you around to adore me then I'm doing something right.

I'll make it worth your while, don't you worry love <3

Love Alby

al,

Yeah, sometimes sticking up for yourself doesn’t end the way we always want it to. But, at east it shows that you can and will do that. You’ll find that people will pick on you less in the future. Or at least that is a hopeful idea. It doesn’t work for everyone.

I don’t understand it through experience. I mean, I have some experience, but not that much. At least not with love itself. But I do know how people are supposed to treat the people they love, and that is by not hurting them. And if someone ever does hurt the people that they love, it is usually unintentional. Not that that is an excuse or anything, but that is the only way I can imagine why someone who loved someone else would hurt them. To do so knowingly is just wrong. At least that is how I see it. Again, I’m not an expert so I am not always right in all matters concerning the heart.

I am glad I made you feel better. That is only part of why I’m here. And I’ll be sure to paint my face green for you on Saturday -laughs- I am not sure what he will try either, and, quite frankly, I do not wish to find out. If he cannot see that you’re happier now, without him, then he isn’t trying to make you happy at all; he would still just be selfish, wanting you to be miserable for not wanting to be with him. And, last I checked, we’re both men too, mister.

Some might accept it, but I am sure they would still be uncomfortable seeing or hearing it. Even if they accept the idea of it. I wouldn’t want to hear one of my roommates shagging some girl in the bed next to me, just as I am sure you wouldn’t want to hear one of your roommates doing the same thing. Or would you -laughs- And, as far as the noises I Mena, I am sure you can recall the ones I mean, from the night of the dance…

That sounds like an excuse to me and, as you put it, total rubbish. There is nothing wrong with wanting attention from the person or people that you love and or care about. And getting that reassurance doesn’t make you a fisher for compliments either. It just says that you like to have positive reinforcement that you are cared for and appreciated. Who wants to be in a situation where they are made to feel like a piece of dirt while they worship the other person? It is one-sided and unfair. No one should ever want or have to deal with that.

By the way, I think you’re cute when your cheeks get red and you stammer. And my flattery isn’t done on purpose, most of the time. And I do love those eyes, though that isn’t the only thing, of course.

I am not sure how that would work. Muggle electronics don’t really work here, with all the spells and enchantments, but if you have another way, then I am all for it. Though I will have to agree, I don’t see much watching being done. Not sure if that is a good thing or not. -giggles- And you can have as many kisses as you want. You don’t need an excuse to snog me. They are how I feel, in case you didn’t know already.

You say that like you can turn it off. You’re always adorable and I am sure just about everyone will agree with me. And yeah, you can say you are doing something right. That’s pretty accurate. Worth my while, you say? I’m intrigued now, for sure.

forever frankie

Frankie,

My father always said it was best to stand up for yourself, and others whom can't stuck up for themselves. I keep true to his requests, even if I don't always get a desired result. As you said it could take a while, but at least I have a handsome best friend to help me when I can't hold my own.

You know my book series I got you into, I think that it has the cutest little love stories. Some tragic and some beautiful, I want love like that. Until I have it, I will not rest. May have to take you one that quest with me :]

That you do, I feel so much better, and paint your face. Your suck a goofball at times! *chuckles* Well something will happen, I'm sure I got a feeling. When I have these feelings things happen. Weather it be good or bad, is beyond me. The main thing that stuck out from he and I's conversation was the fact he said he wanted me happy. Even if it was not with him... I know that could be talk but I believe him. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. Weather he switches his actions and changes his mind is something I can not control. Yet with him, I can hold my ground for the most part. I'm far from stupid, you know this.

Yeah I know we are both men, well starting to get there. I had to check my skivvies to make sure I was still well equipped. [winks]

Who are you fooling, I swear the girls in my house walk right in the boys dorms and do what they please. There is little respect for someone who is misplaced, such as myself. Oh those noises? I like those noises they replay over and over in my mind.

Excuses or not, if you don't think I am, then I'm not. I am usually great with giving people their well deserved space. I just don't like the thought of someone thinking I am needy or obsessive. those word do not describe Albus Potter. Your right, no one likes one-sided bids, I can vouch for that. It's called mutual affection, yeah?

No Frankie! It's not cute when I do that, have you ever seen me when a girl talks to me. It's ridiculous. It's my boggot, I swear. Along with being socially accepted. I feel more comfortable when you do it, and I can turn on my charm and flatter you as well Mister, keep that in mind when you torture me. Everyone is mesmerized by these orbs, I don't see the big deal. I mean they are unique, granted they gain me much positive attention. Now I'm getting cocky... wow...

There are other things that you love about me, dear I ask to invade your mind?

I know they don't. I love being a half blood for the fact I get to enjoy both magical and simple pleasures in life. *blushes* Oh Frankie, you will regret that offer, don't give me a full on pass to snog you. You'll get tired. & I know I don't need an excuse, because when I want you or your, your mine muahah <3

I know they are how you feel, when I kiss you everything around me fades away and my life doesn't seem like a complete catastrophe. I can feel love, and desire. My heart flutters and I get nervous and brave at the same time. If that makes sense, let's just say I feel infinite when I'm just around you. I don't need to kiss you to know how you feel, although it's a nice bonus.

Everyone will not agree, talk to some of my housemates and you will see your thoughts are not accurate. I may not be able to turn it off but what if I didn't want to be adorable huh? What if I wanted to be sexy...I'm awful at it by the way. I look very foolish when I attempt. It's whatever.

Stay intrigued, stay interested I promise I will astound you one day.

Love Alby