Losing my Grip -Link

Link-ster,

Hey Link, I miss you. I just thought I'd send you an owl and keep you posted on my mess of a life here at Hogwarts. Things are getting bad, I'm starting to trip over an ex. I rarely get jealous, but this is just starting to hurt. I want to go on a drinking binge and runaway. Help?

Love,
Chloe xx

mac-n-cheese,

I miss you too. I’m so sorry you’re having a bad time. I wish I could be there for you, to help you with all of this, or even just to make you feel better. Which ex is this now? That same guy you told me about that time, the one you dated a couple of years ago, or something like that? My memory is a little fuzzy, I apologize. But you shouldn’t let this guy bring you down. You’ve been doing so well since we first met. You’re too special to let this guy bring you down like this. Though, if I have to, I will come down there and set him straight.

I know I am not there to tell you all the time, like I once was, but you have to remember that you are a very special young lady and you have so much to look forward to in your life. And, as much as I hate to say this, there will be other guys in your life. Don’t waste your time with some little man who thinks he’s better than you. No man is better than you. He should be lucky you’re even giving him a second thought. Don’t let him make you think otherwise.

And don’t do that! Please!

Though, if you do run away, you could come visit me. I’m kidding… sort of. I haven’t seen you in such a long time. I’m looking forward to when you’re finally released from your confines at the school. I might have to force you to let me take you out to dinner. Sort of like a celebration for officially entering the real world, or something. It’ll be fun, like old times when we were both still at school together. Wow, totally went off topic. I’m probably not even being very helpful right now. Do you want to tell me exactly what’s going on? I might be able to help more if I have a better idea of the situation.

your missing link

Link-ster,

Umm the only one I ever dated. I don't date remember, I hate commitment. It hurts, love only is in fairy tales, and unless pumpkins are becoming carriages, and mice are white horses, fuck love. Have not changed my mind of that topic, it's just whenever I sleep with him, I start to think. Thinking is bad this is why I do the bare minimum.

Your too sweet, I really just blushed reading that, thank Linkster.

As for thinking he is better then me, I doubt that. I put him through hell remember? I just don't know, I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm no longer his muse, I just need to face that fact. Once I do so, I'll be over it.

Well Link, there is always room for a date with you. I say why wait? I mean we could always catch up during one of my weekends. Let me check my calendar..just playing I can fit you in. As for procrastinating, It's fine I don't want to over think. Just I was at the ball the other night, and my ex wanted to vent to me about another girl. You know I don't get jealous or deal with drama. It's just I still care about him a lot. Therefore I'm going to trip. I need to get out of here, away from it all. I may let the wild cat out in me tonight and go to the forbidden forest, my inner snow leopard wants to harm something that isn't a human. Because let's face it, we all thought I'd end up in Azkaban.. but not that way.

Chloe Mac xx

mac-n-cheese,

I know you don’t, but I just wanted to make sure that I had the right guy in my head. You never know, right? And, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t date either, though not for the same reasons. It’s hard for me, but more because I never know if a woman is caring for me or if my ‘charms’ are forcing her to. Plus, to be quite honest, it’s a curse my deadbeat father bestowed upon me without even leaving a name to go with it. Men are asses, so you’d be better off without one now anyway. You should focus on yourself because you are the most important thing in your life. Everyone else is a distant second and third and so on. Except for maybe me, of course. And yes, I am laughing over that last comment.

And, one day, you will change your mind. I’m sure of it. Do not sell yourself short just yet. You’re still young. You have so much life left to live and so much more of the world to see. Hogwarts isn’t the end of the world and I’ll be damned if I let you think that. But, I will tell you one thing to start. You need to stop sleeping with this guy. I know it’s hard, especially since you obviously still care about him, but it doesn’t seem that he cares about you. If he did, he wouldn’t be making you feel this way, or putting you through all of this. And he sure as hell wouldn’t be telling you that he’s got a thing for another girl while still leading you on.

I think you should think more, to be perfectly honest. You’re brilliant, and I know you know it too. You should never let your talents go to waste.

Blushing, you? Wow, I feel super special right now. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you blush before. I think I’m gonna have to do this again, when I see you, so I can see it for myself. So prepare yourself for it when that times comes, because I am gonna make you turn bright red, like the Gryffindor colors.

And so what if you put him through hell two or three years ago. That doesn’t give him the right to be putting you through hell now. I am more than confident that you aren’t that same person you were then, so it’s not fair that you’re being treated as if you are. No woman deserves to be treated that way. You know how I feel about that. And if I need to come down there and make him see that too, then so be it.

You better not land yourself in Azkaban. Even though I may visit you, I won’t be a happy camper about it. At all. So please, if you do go bump in the night, just be careful. I don’t want to hear that you’ve gotten yourself hurt or into any trouble. Besides, I won’t be able to take you out to dinner if you do, so keep that in mind before you do anything foolish.

your missing link

Link-ster,

I wonder what that feels like, it must suck having people drawn to you constantly. Both a gift and a curse in one it sounds like. I think any girl that had you would be lucky, your so sweet. I am starting to feel better already reading all this stuff you write me. You make me feel like I'm something special. You know, no matter how many times you write, and tell me how special I am, I will still have doubts. But for the time being I'm smiling at every compliment.

Except for you? What makes you so special Mister? Just playing, If only I were older right? I could still rock your world and you know it :*

So I should sleep with people I don't care about, is your saying? Because let's face it, I'd be a miserable bitch without sex. I need to visit one of those muggle pleasure stores back home. Unless you know, your feelings daring one night. I am seventeen after Link ;-)

Yes, I was blushing! And no you can not do it in person! I don't do that remember, I don't have feelings Link-ster!

As for visiting, I want you to visit but not for violence purposes! I just am going to have to get over it like you said, it was years ago. I guess I dragged it out, you can't put a dead dog on a leash and expect him to walk. That was a horrible comparison.

As for my talents, I'm really not that good at anything Link. I know you think I should put myself first and eventually I will. Thinking about the future, when I get out of here I'm going to the ministry. Since I'm a registered animagus I think it would be best for me to work with magical creatures. Keep them safe and what not. I have a great understanding with animals. I like that idea.

Azkaban couldn't tolerate me. I wouldn't miss a date with you for the world. I don't plan on going to Azkaban, though, me and James said we would be cell mates one day. I wouldn't doubt it, with all the naughty things I do. So enough about me, tell me whats going on in the busy world on Link Walker? Quidditch guru!

Chloe Mac xx

mac-n-cheese,

Trust me, you don’t want to know. I wish I didn’t know. One would easily think it was a blessing at times, but not for me. If I liked toying with girls’ hearts like some guys do, like this guy you’re telling me about for that matter, I would love it. But since I don’t, it’s not fun at all. It makes any sort of serious relationship difficult because it’s hard to know if a woman is letting me in for me or because of reasons out of both our controls. Why do you think I never dated anyone, and still haven’t?

I am glad you are already feeling better. That makes me feel better. And if you still need to be reminded, then I will just have to write you every single day to tell you that you’re worth the world and that any guy should be falling at your feet, not the other way around. You are a goddess and nay man that cannot perceive that is a fool. And I am special, or have you forgotten that already? Your words wound me, even though I know you’re kidding, as you know I am as well. It feels good to joke around with you again. I’ve missed this.

And now you have me blushing. Nice job. And I have yet to meet a woman who has rocked my world, as you put it, so that could be quite the challenge for you. But, to be honest, with my ‘charms’ in the mix, I think it would be safe to say I’d be the one rocking your world. But I am not going to toot my own horn or anything… ;]

Oh, I wasn’t saying to have meaningless sex with people you could care less about. But I think continuing to do so with this guy may just be making this all worse. You can’t let go of your feelings for him if you’re constantly with him in such a way. It’s only making it worse. At least that’s my opinion. As far as feeling daring, I think that would be a bit more than just feeling a bit daring. That could make us weird and I’d hate to eventually find myself in the same situation with you that you’re in with this guy right now. It wouldn’t be fair to you ;]

Yes you do. If you didn’t have any feelings, the initial reason for your first letter wouldn’t have existed and we wouldn’t even be having this conversation right now. But if it helps you feel better to believe that you don’t have them, than who am I to say otherwise? I will just have to appeal to your better feelings than the ones this guy is bringing out of you.

Probably not the best of comparisons, but I get what you mean. And I’d love to visit. I’ll see if I can get some time one weekend to visit. Let me know what works best for you and I will try my best to be free too. The only problem is that most of my free time comes during the week because of the Quidditch schedule and the games usually being on the weekends, but I will try. For you. If not, then we’ll just have to wait until you’re out of school for good and we have a lot more time to see one another. We have a planned date after all ;]

You need to stop selling yourself short, my dear. It pains me to see you doing that. Looks like I’m gonna have to tell you every day how talented you are too. I think this list of things to include in my daily owls is getting longer and longer with each letter we exchange. I think the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures is a brilliant idea. I can put in a good word for you, if you’d like. I know a couple of guys down there. I could easily make some inquiries. Then I’d get to see you almost every day. I don’t know if you’d be able to stand it though.

My life is pretty boring, to be honest. It’s just work and Quidditch for me. Occasionally I get to go tell some haughty taught player that he’s been fined for some ballsy foul made during a game, which always pisses them off, but I’s a real hoot for me. Sort of makes me glad that I’m not a player anymore, even though I miss it like crazy. But, what can you do, right?

your missing link

Link-ster,

I wouldn't consider it toying with their heads. It's not like you can help the fact your beautiful. Even without being Veela, your quite the catch, don't think it's all the 'charm' thing. Those eyes....I remember looking into those eyes of yours, and when I did. I felt so safe, like no evil could come to me. I know that sounds cheesy coming from me, but bare with me. Your one of the only people I can express the slightest bit of reality to. As for not knowing if someone loves you for the fact your cursed, I think there will be something that sparks and you'll know it for sure. I have a couple female friends that are Veela. Including our potions professor Missy, you know her, she was in your year right? Well being around a veela every single day, you start to get used to it. Otherwise this school would be googoo with how many children have the gene now a days.

You will find that special someone who sees past all that starry stuff. Your sweet enough without needing your 'charm' maybe you need a pen pal. That way she can never see you but fall in love through your writing. Then someday you can meet up, and the love will still be there just intensified. At least then you have genuine. Ironic enough.

Link, your a virgin how are you going to rock my world? There has yet to be a man that could rock my world. Let me tell you, there has been quite a few to try. No shame to my game, yet no results in that case either. That's beside the point.

Awe, I made Linksie blush, that is adorable see now if you make me blush, I'm going to have to return the favor and people will think we ate something spicy because of how red our cheeks will be. ;-)

Damn it Link, I thought you were okaying be to have meaningless sex -_- I should have known better. Your no fun. & for the record I do not have sex with him constantly, it was to get his mind off that girl and personally I think right after I did, he ran back to her anyways. Stupid me, I am going lesbian I swear. Men stress me out. Don't be too down though, your an exception when your ready handsome ;-)

I could always sneak out during the week if you can't make the weekend Link. I can't wait til I'm graduated. My grades are not even the best. I shouldn't be so wound up in boys and drama, I need to start getting ready for N.E.W.Ts and what not. Wow I never thought I'd say that, but I can't be here any more and if you could put in a good word for me that great, I wish I had family in the Ministry, but I'm muggle born therefore no help from the rents. At least I have my big brother figure right. Where would I be without you?

I don't even want to think of that....

Boring? Your like free to do whatever you want. How could you mistake freedom for boredom? Your nuts! As for not playing, maybe someday me and you can toss around the quaffle. I know it wont be the same but at least it would bring back some memories <3

Chloe Mac xx

mac-n-cheese,

You’re right, I can’t help it, but that doesn’t mean I’d be able to willingly play games knowing I have an extra advantage. And again with the blushing. You need to stop this, woman! But I am glad that I’ve always made you feel safe. That’s one of the few things a guy like me could hope for, right?

Missy? Yeah, I remember her. She was one of the few people at school that made me feel normal. It always made me feel better knowing that she had the same problem, or at least with guys. I’m glad I never had guys falling ta my feet too. That would have been embarrassing. But you wouldn’t feel her effects, would you? They only work on the opposite sex, from what I’ve gathered about the whole concept. Plus, I think, it depends on the amount of veela inside the person. Unfortunately for me, I have no idea how much of a veela I am – thanks to my asshole father – but I know it’s pretty strong so I’d wager mine is pretty up there. But it is definitely a good thing that there aren’t a lot of lovesick kiddies running about the castle. Then we’d all be in trouble.

Maybe one day I will. To be honest, I’m not trying to find her right now. Then again, she could always just fall into my lap. Stranger things have happened, right? A pen pal? How would I even go about that? I doubt there are ads for such a thing. ‘WANTED! PEN PAL FOR POSSIBLE FUTURE ROMANCE!’ It’s a good idea, but not for me, I don’t think.

Hey now! Don’t say that out loud. I’d like to keep that as much of a secret as I can, yeah? Shhhh! And I bet you I could, if I wanted to. I think my little advantage would be able to amplify whatever I can maybe make you feel. You never know, though I doubt we’d ever find out. And I am not surprised no guy had ever succeeded, though I’d wager this guy you’re fawning over right now may have come the closest. If he didn’t, you wouldn’t be tripping over him right now.

And thanks for the idea. We’ll have to have Thai or Indian when we have our date. Good call.

Hey, I’m not one to tell you what to do. If you want to have meaningless sex with strangers, then by all means. It’s just not my thing, as you obviously know already. And you know damn well I am all sorts of fun… just not that kind of fun. And if that guy did that, then you really need to get him out of the picture. That’s not fair, to you or that other girl, so he needs to just go away. He’s only gonna keep fucking with your head and that isn’t right. It pains me to see this happening to you, or at least hearing about it, and not being able to do anything about it.

By the way, going lesbian isn’t gonna make any of this any better. You of all people should know the female sex better. They’re certifiably nuts. Why would you want to put yourself through that? Me? I doubt you’d want me, but I could always try and set you up with one of my friends. They’re a bit older and not as immature to the blokes you’re probably used to. Besides, don’t girls like older guys anyway?

Sneaking out now too? My, my you’ve gotten bolder with age. Just don’t get yourself in trouble on my account. You’ll make me feel bad. You got it. I’ll reach out to some people within the next few days and let you know what I find out. I’m sure you’ll be a shoo in though. And I am sure you’ll do great on your newts. You just have to believe in yourself, like I do. And yes, you will always have me to look out for you. Haven’t I always? Well, at least since we’ve met I have.

Freedom and boredom are not one in the same, and I do not misinterpret one for the other. The ‘daily grind’ gets a bit boring after a while, which I am sure you can appreciate as well being at Hogwarts, but desk work has never been my thing. It’s grown on me though, but it’s still not the same as being up in the air. I like this idea. A lot. And we can definitely make that happen sometime. When you’re finally free, we can make those plans.

your missing link