Time to Breathe -Open-

Being without Luca was killing her and now to know it was all her fault to way this was happening had pushed her deeper into the hole she already was. Lately she has been walking around like a zombie. Part of her didn’t want to be here anymore if she couldn’t have him. Scarlett thought about just not coming back to school and living on the streets or maybe she would go back to her father and let him beat the crap out of her. Scarlett was not used to not having anyone she could go to for help but she has been isolating since she lost Luca.

Walking around the school she was trying to ignore everyone her mind was spinning and she just wanted time to think. Running away had became something she was good at but there was one person she didn’t want to run from instead she wanted to run to him but that was not going to happen right now because he was still hurt and she just had to keep trying to get on his good side again. Walking down towards the lake she sighed beating herself up for the way she acted that night she cheated still haunts her. She didn’t plan for it happen it just did and she regretted it the second that it started. Getting to the lake she dropped to her knees pulling them into her chest as she looked out at the lake. She had to take this time to regroup and think about her next move. She still loved him and knew he was the one she wanted. ”Why did I do that. What was I thinking.” she asked herself as she hid her face in her knees.

The lake was quickly becoming the safest place for her it seemed. The kitchens were a rather safe place most of the time because the smell of food over powered the smell of blood for her most of the time. The great hall was always a hassle for her. But the lake. It was almost like a haven thanks to the smell of the water that weakened the smell of blood. Kens drew in a deep breath, savoring the scent of water and the creatures that lived beneath its surface. It was a wonderful break from the constant onslaught of desire within the castle walls.

A voice caught her ears and she frowned slightly, recognizing it and not liking the tone in the least bit. Scarlett. She had met the girl in her earlier years and Scarlett had been the first to prove to McKenna that not all Slytherin’s were bad people. “Lettie….” McKenna spoke loudly enough that the girl would realize her sudden presence but not enough that it would startle her too terribly. She seemed incredibly upset and Kens couldn’t handle seeing that in someone that she considered a friend, someone that she considered a good person. She walked slowly to the other girl’s side and sank down to the ground. She copied her sitting position, pulling her knees up but wrapping her arms around them to hold them in place.

“Scarlett…what’s wrong?” McKenna’s brows furrowed as she asked the question. She wanted to reach out and pull the other girl into a hug but decided against it quickly. She wasn’t sure that she could be that close to a human yet and she didn’t want to risk it despite the fact that she did want to comfort her. “Is it anything I can help with?” Kens chewed lightly at the inside of her lip, being careful not to draw her own blood as she did so .

Jumping as she heard her nickname knowing it could only be one person because only one girl called her Lettie. Shaking her head she sank back to the ground and again hid her face in her knees. She hadn’t really told her friends what she had done because she didn’t want them to hate her and she didn’t want to air this to anyone. But maybe it was time to show people her faults and to show she isn’t that great of a person like they all thought. Turning her head she watched as McKenna came up and sat next to her she had always trusted this Hufflepuff so maybe she could tell her of that one night of bad decisions that ruined her life.

“There is nothing anyone can do to help me unless you can turn back time and stop me from going out with that boy.” she said in a really sad tone. That was the worst mistake of her life and she would do and give anything to be able to go back and not do it. Tears started to roll down her face as she thought about it more she couldn’t believe she was that weak that she let him talk her into a date and that she went on it. All the details of that night swam around her mind and was killing her slowly. Her heartbeat was slow and her pulse was fast. Probably because she hadn’t really been eating.

Sighing deeply she blinked before looking out on the lake. “If I don’t get Luca back there is nothing worth living for. I belong with him my heart wants him but he is so mad I really screwed up and I don’t know what to do to fix it. I am trying so hard to win him back. Hiding her face again suddenly she felt so bad for losing it in front of McKenna. “I’m sorry, you don’t need to hear this it’s not fair to you.”