Everything has changed [Gryphon]

All I know since yesterday...

...is everything has changed

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Hell, that’s exactly how Jasmine had taken to describing the last several days and it was all because she had allowed herself to get close to a fellow Slytherin. At the time it had been amazing even with the smirks and giggles they had encountered on their way through the castle. Everything had been amazing until it was over. Much to Jasmine’s horror, she had discovered her partners plan, but only after he’d gotten what he wanted. It was hard now for Jasmine to even think his name let alone see him in the hall. What made it worse was that it was impossible for her to not think about what had happened that night. She found herself slipping into a passionate and heated day dream in the middle of class only to jerk herself out of it as she felt the fire burning within her. That fire had never fully subsided after Jasmine left Gryphon alone. Even as she cried herself to sleep that night she was unable to ignore the burning she still felt for Gryphon despite the hurt she felt.

How could I have let myself get into that situation, yet again Jasmine found her mind wandering as she sat through an exam preparation lesson in Defense Against the Dark Arts. For the first time Jasmine found herself done with her work before anyone else. Usually there was at least one other person done before her, but this time everyone else seemed to still be busy working on their reviews. End of the year exams were just around the corner and though Jasmine felt she was reasonably ready, she knew there was always more that she could brush up on. No matter how much she studied she felt there was always something else she might need to know. It was times like that that she needed a distraction, much like the one she presently had. Maybe Jasmine should have been working still, but it was so hard for her to focus on anything but… Gryphon. Jasmine sighed and smiled though she wasn’t cautiously aware of doing either.

Just thinking his name sent several different emotions rushing through her body. The way his name sounded in her head reminded her of the way she had spoken his name in the dim light of the fire in the Room of Requirements which made her smile; It also reminded her of how sensitive her body had been when their passion had ended. His name also sparked her desire to have him be close to her while also allowing her pain to resurface because she had allowed herself to be used. While it had been fun at the time it now wrought her with guilt and sadness that she had no desire to feel. How can I still want to be with him? Jasmine shifted in her seat, moving her gaze from one window to the next though the view didn’t change much. The sky outside had a thick blanket of rain filled clouds that had not yet opened up to release the downpour; though spring was beautiful, it was also very wet and it did silly things to her hair.

Jasmine had been so lost in thought that she didn’t realize her professor had dismissed them until someone accidently bumped into her desk. Startled, Jasmine had jumped but recovered quickly with a curt nod when the aggressor apologized. Finally aware of her surroundings, Jasmine felt she should gather her belongings and disappear while she could still do it without being bothered. As she stowed her book in her bag and slung it over her shoulder, she crossed to the teacher’s desk and placed her review parchment on top of the growing pile, not at all happy with her work, but knowing it wouldn’t count too much against her. Glad to be leaving the stuffy class behind, Jasmine crossed her arms over her chest and walked slowly down the hall, glad that the day was finally over for her. As she walked down the hall she noticed a few groups gathering here and there to catch up on the days gossip. It wasn’t until she passed the third group that she realized they had all stopped talking when she approached. Jasmine stopped level with them and stared at them, they intern stared at her before they looked away and started giggling. Jasmine’s heart sank. Without looking back, Jasmine hurried away from her, still hearing the giggles from the groups of girls.

Don’t these silly girls have anything better to do with their lives, just knowing that she and Gryphon were still the talk of the immature younger students made Jasmine cringe. It didn’t give herself high hopes for the future generations due to leave Hogwarts in only a few years. Unable to take the looks she was now getting as she hurried down the grand staircase, Jasmine lowered her gaze, not something that she would have done, but feeling that the whole school was now staring at her it was an impossible action to ignore. As she hurried along she passed hoards of students heading towards the Great Hall for dinner, but suddenly she found herself repulsed by the thought of food. Not sure what else to do, Jasmine made her way towards the courtyard, a place she had tried to avoid since her run in with Gryphon a few days ago, but that now seemed a welcome seclusion area.

Upon arriving, Jasmine felt a few light rain drops falling, but chose to ignore them, it wasn’t like water was going to make her melt. Despite herself she laughed at the amusing Muggle stereotype of what would kill a witch. The myths that Muggles seemed to believe amused Jasmine though she doubted she knew all of them. With a smile, Jasmine sat down on the first bench she consciously noticed, but as soon as she realized what bench she’d sat on it made her want to run away from the courtyard. This is where it all started, she thought running her hands over the damp stone bench beneath her. When her hands reached the rough stone edge, she closed her fingers over the edge and closed her eyes as he bag slid down her arm to land on the bench and then slide to the floor in front of her. How had things gotten so messed up so fast? Just being in this place where all the passion had started was more than Jasmine was ready for. More than anything she wanted to get away, but she found herself unable to move. Her grip tightened on the rough stone, the strap of her bag still wrapped around her wrist though it was the last thought she was focused on at the moment.

A sick feeling began to grow in the pit of her stomach… I shouldn’t be here, she thought at last, but the nauseating feeling she felt seemed to have made it impossible to move.

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Tag! Gryphon Kisaragi
Wearing! School robes
Words! 1,165
Credit! CC
Lyrics! Everything has changed- Taylor Swift
Notes! I love these two together! <<<<3333[/blockquote][/size]

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It had been a few days now - why was Gryphon still thinking about her?

Thus far somehow the two Slytherins had managed to mostly avoid one another - of course they had seen one another in passing, it was impossible not to considering they had a few classes together, and were in the same house. However, neither had made even made eye contact, let alone spoken. Things had sort of returned to the way they had been for most of the time since they had known one another, except that it didn't feel the same as before. Before there had been no emotions. Before Gryphon still sought out chances to try to corner Jasmine and make her talk to him whether she wanted to or not. Before he had not noticed her quite so often. Before he had not dreaded running into her in the corridor.

But nothing was like it had been before.

But why were things so different? Gryphon had never had a problem just leaving people behind and moving on quickly, going about his business and onto the next person and having fun, all the while never looking back. He had been that way as long as he could remember - not once had ever felt any differently, let alone like this. Like he was the one that had been used, and left wanting more, and left with a lot of unanswered questions. Why was he still thinking back to that day, back to the courtyard, back to their first kiss, and of course back to everything that had happened afterwards? The marks on his skin were beginning to slowly fade but every time he saw them he thought of her. He thought of them. Together. If he let himself daydream about it, he felt the rush of excitement building up within him again, and then that awful, sickening feeling of being left alone in that room, with the tables turned on him.

Gryphon wanted to hate her, but he couldn't.

Having never been extremely motivated about classes and marks, Gryphon had been skipping quite a few classes these past couple of days. He figured he could probably get away with it for a week or so before he got called out on it for being a Prefect, but in the meantime, he couldn't be bothered going - especially not to ones that he shared with Jasmine. He didn't want to see her, didn't want to face this problem, and lived with the dream that it would simply go away. Except that it hadn't. And thus that day, rather than going to another boring class, Gryphon had found himself outside wandering around the grounds of the school, trying to think about anything other than that cold, raven-haired girl and the plethora of feelings that she was making him have. And then he had ended up right back where everything had started, as though his feet had brought him there by their own accord. Back to the courtyard.

Gryphon had never been very sentimental, nor nostalgic, but he couldn't ignore that being back in the courtyard definitely stirred up a strange mix of feelings in his stomach. He had at first approached the bench where he had first approached Jasmine, just like it as another day and another attempt at flirting with her, but he edged around it and instead went to the stone pillar where he had first kissed her. The side it had happened was away from the bench, where she had been 'hiding' from him during their game, and he leaned against the cold stone with his eyes closed for an unknown length of time, lost in this thoughts. He knew he shouldn't even be here and that it was better to just move on and he hated the strange feelings he was facing but he couldn't bring himself to walk away just yet and the feeling of the cold stone behind his back was somehow strangely comforting...

Gryphon didn't know how long he had stood there, but suddenly he heard shuffling and footsteps and he realized he wasn't alone in the courtyard any longer. His dark eyes snapped open and he pushed away from the column, not wanting to be caught daydreaming by anyone. He let out a deep breath he didn't know he had been holding, and with the intent of going back into the castle and probably back to his dorm for a bit and away from this place that made him feel so confused, he emerged from behind the pillar....

....and his gaze fell right on her.

The Prefect stopped dead in his tracks, frozen for a moment and unable to even react. She was sitting right there on that very bench, and he noted just how tightly her fingers were gripping the stone. Was it possible she had been drawn back here too....? No, that seemed ridiculous. Gryphon immediately was met with images of her cold self again when she had shrugged him off in the Room of Requirement and then left without saying more than a few blunt sentences. They had both gotten what they wanted, right? Right? So why was she back here? Merlin, why was he back here??

And suddenly, all of those emotions that Gryphon didn't know how to handle, everything that he had been trying to suppress for the past few days - it all came to a head when he saw her, sitting back in that same bench, and it was the two of them alone again in the courtyard and he was only metres away from her. Without even thinking about it, Gryphon heard himself suddenly blurt out, "Hoping that someone else will come and find you here so you can have a bit of fun?" His voice was dark, dangerous, with an edge to it that the laidback Slytherin hardly ever used. He didn't even know why he had said it, he didn't want to fight with her, but all he could feel was anger - anger at her for what she had done, anger at the situation he found himself in, and anger at himself for being so weak and letting this even happen at all.

All I know since yesterday...

...is everything has changed

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Jasmine felt her chest getting tighter the longer she sat there. The rain hadn’t started to fall any harder yet, but she knew it was bound to let lose any minute. Her grip tightened on the stone as she felt tears threaten to form in her eyes. As it was they were already stinging from the persistent tears. At that moment she hated herself; hated herself for what she had done to Gryphon. It was her fault she felt this way. If she’d only acted a little more warmly towards him before she left, maybe she wouldn’t feel so miserable. Maybe if she just would have opened up to him and told him how she felt about him, then maybe she wouldn’t feel so guilty. No! He was using me, that’s why I left in such a rush. It was obvious he didn’t want to be there with me any longer, so telling him how I felt wasn’t going to do any good. The pain she felt replaced the tightness. She wanted to whimper, to cry out in her own anguish, but she was too broken, to depressed to even think about making any sort of movement. Gryphon…. I’m sorry.

From behind the pillar that she consciously knew was near by, Jasmine heard someone move. It took her some time to fully register what had happened, that she had heard someone moving around behind her. Behind her was a place she hardly let anyone be without her knowing about it. It wasn’t like her to drop her guard, but she was so lost in her own pain and depression that she wasn’t bothered by anything around her. That was until a voice reached her. Again it took a few seconds for her to fully become aware that the person was addressing her, that he sounded cruel which didn’t fit the speaker, and that the speaker was Gryphon. Gryphon, Jasmine thought dreamily. Gryphon… something began to register inside her that who she was thinking about was actually a lot closer to her than she had previously thought. Gryphon? Confusion washed through her, her mind slowly coming to life, but the sound of his name in her head sent a fresh wave of sadness through her which forced tears to form in her eyes.

Gryphon! Jasmine jumped to her feet, her bag sliding free of her arm. Tears blurred her vision, but she knew she was right. Gryphon had actually spoke to her, but he sounded…. Mad? Hurt? Disgusted? Jasmine wasn’t sure, but just knowing that he had spoken to her after not doing so for a few days made her heart race. It was thrilling to hear his voice again, but also alarming at the same time. He sounded so different front himself that she couldn’t bear to hear him speak again, while at the sametime wishing he would say something, anything else just so she could hear him. The sadness and pain she felt at the sound of his voice was unbearable. I did that, She thought miserably. No, he just didn’t want to see you, so he’s disgusted that you ended up here. Why do you think he’s been avoiding you. Have you seen him around? The truth was she had actually been trying to avoid him as well, but in all actuality she hadn’t seen him hardly at all which struck her as a bit odd.

Slowly, Jasmine turned around, he wasn’t sure what he would see on her face, but she knew the tears were going to be there. As she turned she dreaded what she would see on Gryphon’s face. She knew she had hurt him, why else would he have been avoiding her? Maybe he wanted more form her than just that one night? Don’t be ridiculous! Jasmine scolded herself. You know who he is, you know his reputation… how could he want more from you? As she came to this realization she knew that no matter what she saw on his face, she couldn’t let it affect her. It sounded easy in theory… Until she actually looked at him. Though her vision was blurry, it was easy to see the anger that Gryphon had towards her. Even if he hadn’t spoken his face would have made it blatantly obvious. Jasmine felt herself go weak in the knees, both from just seeing him so close to her and seeing how angry he was. Her heart started racing. She felt her whole body start to shake. Her hands got cold and clammy. The heat drained from her face. She knew she couldn’t stop what happened next, thick, heavy tears just started falling down her cheeks. Her mascara was sure to be running, but at that moment she didn’t care. Oh Gryphon….

Jasmine brought her hands to her face just as she fell to her knees and cried. She cried loudly, heavy sobs shook her whole body while her anguished cries echoed off the stone around them. How could she have been so cruel to him? Jasmine hated herself more in that moment that she ever had. Even if Gryphon did want nothing else from her, she knew what he was like so she shouldn’t have hated him so. Just because she was cold and cruel most of the time, hadn’t she wanted to have Gryphon show her how to loosen up? Here she was doing the exact opposite and it was uncalled for. No matter what Gryphon wanted, no matter what she wanted, he had done nothing to warrant this behavior from her. It was then that she knew what she needed to do, even if he laughed at her, even if he didn’t care, she knew she had to do it. It wasn’t her nature to be so broken, especially in front of anyone, but Gryphon had sent her into an emotional roller coaster that only he could fix and Jasmine doubted he wanted to fix her.

“Gryphon, I’m so sorry!” She sobbed into her hands. She knew the sound was muffled, but she also knew he voice was loud enough to be heard in the castle, or so it seemed to her. “You don’t deserve this. I was being stupid. I was scared.” Tired of talking through her hands, Jasmine dropped them to her lap as tears continued to fall. “I was scared,” she repeated, more quietly this time. She heaved a heavy sigh and continued, her eyes focused on the rough stone beneath her, tears still streaming down her face. “I didn’t want to seem… I didn’t want… I couldn’t tell…,” She was at a loss. She knew what she wanted to say, but how could she say it after not talking to him for so long? Jasmine felt even more broken. She wanted to tell Gryphon that she liked him, but how could she? He probably hated her beyond repair. He didn’t want to hear her confessing to him that she liked him. What boy would want to hear that after the girl had treated him so badly?

Jasmine looked up, tears still streaming thickly down her face. She wanted to tell him that she wanted to be with him, but she couldn’t find the words. She was scared of being rejected which was something she couldn’t take. Not wanting to push Gryphon away any further, Jasmine fell silent. Her eyes searched his face for some kind of forgiveness that she doubted she would get. Even though she wanted his forgiveness she wasn’t expecting it. She wanted to cross the space between them and throw her arms around his neck. Her eyes feel to his lips where she longed to place hers again. Just thinking about those lips sent a wave of heat through her body, but if felt wrong mixed with her pain and anger at herself. All these emotions only made her feel worse. Her tears flowed even more thickly, she became unable to look at Gryphon again. Her hands came to her face as sobs shook her body again. “I’m… so… sorry….Gr-Gryohon!” She sobbed again, but found herself unable to say anymore. She fell silent, and hoped that Gryphon wouldn’t yell at her, I can’t take him yelling, though she wouldn’t blame him if he did.

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Tag! Gryphon Kisaragi
Wearing! School robes
Words! 1,379
Credit! CC
Lyrics! Everything has changed- Taylor Swift
Notes! Aw!!!![/blockquote][/size]

It was starting to rain; Gryphon was vaguely aware of the annoying weather condition as the drops started to fall, but his feet remained firmly planted where they were. Rain was the least of his concerns right now, not with her sitting less than two metres away from him. He hadn't even decided if he regretted what he had said yet or not, or the tone that he had said it in, when suddenly she started crying. Crying. That wasn't at all what the Slytherin boy had been expecting. Crying meant you were upset that something had happened, or regretted something, or just generally weren't happy with a result. He had made a lot of girls cry over relationship-related things in the past, but it wasn't like this. It wasn't in this sort of situation.

And usually, not knowing how to handle a crying girl, Gryphon would just leave them. Crying girls made him seize up and panic on the inside. And yet his feet still weren't moving.

Instead, Gryphon stared wide-eyed at Jasmine as she sobbed into her hands and started...apologizing? Was he hearing things again, or was she actually saying she was sorry to him? Sorry for what?? At first he was certain he had to be mishearing her because she was talking into her hands, through sobs, in his second language - yeah, he had to be making up what she was saying. But then she dropped her hands and he couldn't deny it any longer. She really was apologizing to him, even as she stammered over her own words much as he had the last time they had really talked. And Gryphon only felt even more confused than he had before.

Before, he had just been certain that Jasmine had got all she wanted from him, considering that was basically what she had told him - he'd helped her 'loosen up' all right, and they had relieved what had apparently been a lot of sexual tension between the two over the past however long before they finally were intimate. It had been good, and she had moved on. Gryphon had just been left dealing with the confusion of how he felt about it, and why he felt differently than he normally did - that had been confusing enough for him and had made him quite angry and frustrated as it was. But now this....her, crying, and apologizing, to him. About....something. Was she upset that she had slept with him? Well it was too late for that. Or was she upset about how things were now....?

That was the scary option.

"You're....sorry?" Gryphon finally found his voice again, though it was soft and didn't sound at all like it was coming from his own mouth. He felt completely disconnected, like he was watching two other people have this conversation in the courtyard, rather than being an active participant. He raked his fingers through his hair before settling his hand on the back of his neck and rubbing it as he watched her with narrowed eyes. He didn't even know what to do, but he still felt angry. Angry at himself, angry at her, angry at the situation - angry it was raining, angry she was crying, just....angry. He was silent for a few moments as he chewed on his bottom lip, not a habit typical of his but nothing about this situation was typically what he dealt with, before he finally spoke again. "About what, exactly, Jasmine?" At first, his tone was level, and though his voice was low, it didn't have much emotion.

But that didn't last very long. "About asking for my help?" His voice was steadily rising, both in volume and in how aggressive he was speaking, and he continued to feel like he wasn't even in control of what he was saying any more as all of those confusing feelings continued to come to a head and explode from inside of him, "About the kissing? About the fucking? Because it's a bit late for that and I can't really take it back!" He stopped for a moment then, taking a deep breath as he become slightly more aware of the rain. It seemed to be getting more intense along with his words, which just seemed terribly poetic at the moment.

"Or are you sorry about how you just went back to being a cold bitch when the sweat hadn't even dried off our skin yet?" He didn't even know where this was coming from, and it felt both really good, and really awful, to yell at her like this. All of the things that had been bothering him, that he hadn't wanted to admit were bothering him, where just all pouring out at the crying girl. "Is that what you're apologizing for? I didn't expect us to get married, Jasmine, but---" Suddenly he cut himself off, biting his tongue. What was he about to say? What had he been expecting? What did he even expect now? He was afraid to let himself continue to speak without thinking, afraid of what he might reveal both to her - and to himself.

A clearly exasperated growl escaped from his lips then as he buried his own face in his hands, rubbing his temples as he felt his hair becoming plastered to his head with the rain and his clothes were beginning to stick to his skin. "Chikushō..." he finally muttered as he let his arms fall dramatically back to his sides. "Just...stop crying, okay?" he then said, his voice a lot softer as his gaze dropped to the ground at his feet. He knew that was probably an unlikely request - not after what he had just said. But he really didn't know what to do. On one hand, he wanted to pull her close to him, trying to get her to stop, but on the other, he wanted to push her away.

It wasn't meant to be this hard.

All I know since yesterday...

...is everything has changed

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Jasmine hated herself. What am I doing? Crying had become a common part of her day to day routine which bothered her greatly. Never before had her emotions gone so crazy nor had she given them a reason to do so. This whole mess with Gryphon was starting to weigh on her. How should could she have let this happen? The way she was raised tought her to stay closed off so this very thing wouldn’t happen. At that moment she both loathed and thanked her parents for how she turned out. Had they not drilled her to be closed off, she felt that this break down never would have happened. At the same time she wished she could have just manned up and told Gryphon how she felt.

This whole situation was strange to her. Deep down she wanted more than anything to come out and just tell Gryphon that she wanted a relationship with him. Just thinking about admitting how she felt sent her stomach tumbling over itself. Never being in this situation before put her in a weak place. As the tears continued to fall, though less drastically than before, she felt completely lost. Relationships with this much passion and desire were very strange to her and it baffled her as to why she suddenly felt like this with Gryphon. Granted she was glad that she finally felt so strongly about someone, but the fact that she couldn’t come out and just tell him her feelings made her angry at herself and her family.

Jasmine began to wonder if Gryphon had abandoned her to her own sadness. It had been some time since she’d spoken to him and though she wouldn’t have faulted him for leaving she would feel even more devastated if he had actually done so. Slowly she dried her eyes, noting that her mascara had almost all come off which scared her, apparently it was all over her cheeks. Taking the back of her wrist, covered by her school robes, she wiped her smooth skin to rid herself of what mascara was left over. With a deep breath, Jasmine readied herself to see an empty courtyard before her, but as she slowly looked up she noticed that Gryphon was still there. Her eyes slowly scanned up his body until they came to his face. Just seeing him again, even after seeing him already before crying her heart still gave a strange little hiccup in response to his features. She both adored and despised seeing him there, but she was glad he hadn’t left.

Finally, as Jasmine’s mind wandered to what she would rather be doing than kneeling on the hard ground in the rain, Gryphon spoke again. Just hearing it sent her heart into unnatural rhythms again, but something was different. His voice was soft which sounded really weird coming from him. He looked rather lost as well as if he wasn’t sure how to deal with the new found emotions that he too was obviously feeling. As he waited for Jasmine to answer, which would take some time because she wasn’t even sure how to reply, he raked his fingers through his hair. Her mind wandered towards the past when she had raked her fingers though his hair and even grabbed a few handfuls. Seeing him do it only made her want to do the same. Stop that! Jasmine wanted to cry again, but she refused now that she had finally seemed to get it under control.

Just when she felt like she finally had a control of things, Gryphon started to speak again, not before she realized he was chewing on his bottom lip. Again her mind wandered to doing that very action herself. Her heart both rose and fell at the thought. Jasmine was confused, she wanted to fix how she had effected Gryphon, but his tone was making it hard for her to know how to proceed. Just when she was about to answer, Gryphon spoke again, cutting her off, her mouth half open with the effort. The way his voice rose caused her to close her mouth and purse her lips as she listened to him. She had done this to him and she hated herself even more for it. What have I done?

The longer Gryphon spoke the less she noticed about the rain, but it steadily started to pick up, but so did his voice. He was almost shouting now, but it didn’t bother her that just maybe the whole castle would eventually hear, what bothered her was that he was yelling at her… and cusing at her. It hurt more than she would have ever thought. Instead of getting mad like she would have with anyone else, Jasmine just felt even more broken. Tears stung her eyes as she listened to him, but as soon as he called her a cold bitch, the tears just started falling. She had hurt him more than she had assumed. Everything else he said was lost to her, but she was aware he was still talking. Her hands came to her face again and as loud, body shaking sobs overtook her.

Jasmine couldn’t talk, couldn’t think, but she was vaguely aware that a new emotion was stirring inside her that wasn’t regret or pain. Anger slowly began to creep its way into her awareness. When she finally realized that it was in fact anger that she was starting to feel she wondered why. She wasn’t sure if she was angry at herself still or if she was angry at Gryphon for being so angry at her. After several minutes she found anger filling her and overtaking the pain and sadness she had been feeling. Slowly she dropped her hands and sniffed loudly. Her head raised slightly as she scowled at his feet. Taking a deep shaky breath Jasmine slowly stood up and brushed herself off. She was scared of what she might say, but at that moment she wasn’t about to hold back.

Taking a step forward, tears still streaming down her face, she looked into Gryphon’s eyes and narrowed hers. “You know what you’re a dick and even though your little speak makes me want to revoke my earlier apology, I feel I have to justify what I was apologizing for.” Her voice broke several times, but she was so mad at him she didn’t care. “Am I sorry that we kissed, no. Am I sorry that we had sex, no. Am I sorry that I shut myself off and turned into, as you put it, a cold bitch, no. You made it quite clear what that night meant to you.” As she spoke she slowly stepped towards him, her arms crossing over her chest, until she was now very close to him, close enough to where she could just lean in and press her lips to his again like she really wanted to, but she was still too angry to show him that kind of affection. “We both know who you are. We both know you don’t go after more than the obvious, so why pretend that it was anything but what it was?” Jasmine had missed the last part of his speech because she was so upset. Had she heard him maybe her way of thinking would have changed, but as it was she still saw red.

Something in her shifted…

As Jasmine looked into his eyes, felt the rain start to fall heavier around them, noticed just how warm his body felt so close to her… Jasmine just couldn’t stay mad. Her anger melted as she looked at him. Suddenly she didn’t care what he wanted, all that mattered was that she had to tell him how she felt. She realized in those seconds that she wasn’t mad at Gryphon, but rather herself for not telling him to begin with that she liked him. Her heart hammered in her chest, her breathing quickened sending misty clouds into the chilly air. She could feel the rain plastering her long hair to her head, but she chose to ignore it. Her whole body started shaking as she thought over what she was about to tell him. Quickly she looked at the ground and shuffled her feet, when she spoke her voice was softer, almost lost in the now steady rain fall; she felt tears wanting to return at the thought of what she was about to tell him. “What I am sorry for… Well…,” she drew a deep breath and looked up, her voice catching as a sob escaped her, “I’m sorry that I shut you out when all I really wanted to do was keep you close.” A fresh wave of tears began to fall. “I’m sorry that I made you hate me. I’m sorry that I was so scared of opening up to you.” Though she spoke through sobs she found herself being unable to stop now that she had gotten started. “I’m sorry that I ran off instead of telling you… that I want to be with you.” Jasmine snapped her mouth shut, tears still running down her face. There it was, all the fear she had been feeling now came to the surface. What had she just done? Either Gryphon was going to hate her or he was going to accept her, but either way she felt like running. She felt sick, and angry again or maybe it was embarrassed. Jasmine had never been so blunt before about her feelings and it was because she feared rejection, but because she couldn’t hide it from herself any longer, Jasmine took a risk and she desperitly hoped it was the right thing to do.

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Tag! Gryphon Kisaragi
Wearing! School robes
Words! 1,618
Credit! CC
Lyrics! Everything has changed- Taylor Swift
Notes! Wasn't happy at first, but with some editing I love this one![/blockquote][/size]

Jasmine was still crying, and Gryphon was still standing there staring at her feeling helpless, and he hated feeling helpless. One part of him wanted to take back everything he had just said to her, but the other half of him didn't - he had meant a lot of it, after all. His anger with her and with the situation scared him a bit, as did the feeling teetering on the edge of regret, which was not a feeling he usually had. Regret was new to Gryphon, and he didn't like it, so he pushed it aside as much as possible. He wouldn't have said those words if he didn't mean them, he told himself, and it felt good to get all of the thoughts he had been keeping to himself out in the open. He usually had no problems telling people exactly how he felt, so why should this be any different?

Except that you're not telling her most of what you think, Gryphon thought silently to himself, but he quickly shut that voice up. He didn't even know what he thought about the two of them, so voicing it was impossible as he had already awkwardly found out when he had tried back in the Room of Requirement.

And then she was coming towards him. Internally, Gryphon could feel his stomach twisting and he didn't know if he wanted to run as far away from her and this situation as possible, or run towards her and pull her into his arms again to make her stop crying and try to make things better. Caught in between those conflicting emotions, he found his feet planted firmly in the ground swiftly becoming softer beneath his feet the more the rain pounded down around him, frozen, unable to move. His gaze was fixed on hers even as she met his eyes and began to reply to all of his accusing questions. And Merlin, she looked dangerous, and quite angry herself. He couldn't really blame her for that though - he had just yelled at her when she was in an emotional state, and his words had been less than kind. He really shouldn't have expected her to not be angry.

Gryphon's own eyes narrowed when she got to the end of her explanation though. He had 'made it clear' what he thought their night was together? And he only ever 'went for the obvious?' Okay well the latter of those two statements did ring pretty true, at least in the past. But he had been trying to talk to her back in the Room of Requirement about what their time together was, and he had just quite frankly not been able to find the words because it was dealing with feelings he had never had to deal with before. The way she was talking, he had straight up refused her and had been the one to walk out of the room first when it had clearly been the other way around! She had left HIM there, stuttering over what he wanted to say, after all! Sure he did have the sort of reputation that he had, but she had gone through with this all the same and had let him kiss her in the first place, and he hadn't heard any complaints. So how did that make him the only bad guy suddenly?

"You're assuming quite a lot I think," Gryphon finally said with a shake of his head when she was done, crossing his arms over his chest quite defiantly. "You seem to think you knew exactly who I was when you got involved in this apparently, and yet you did it anyway, so I'm not the only one at fault here, Jasmine," he then said pointedly, narrowing his eyes right back at her. While Gryphon didn't often pick fights intentionally, he didn't back down from them either; he was far too stubborn for that. And besides, this argument he had probably technically started, so he wasn't going to just back down and leave it alone.

"But more importantly," Gryphon then continued, boldly continuing to hold her gaze even as he felt the overwhelmingly strong desire to reach out and brush the tears from her face, not wanting to see her like his any more especially because he was realizing more and more that it was on his account that she was like this, "You seem to think you know exactly who I am, when you don't. You've never taken the chance to find out, Jasmine. You barely talked to me until a few days ago, so don't pretend you have me figured out." Gryphon knew that he was pretty much an open-book case, and that what you saw really was what you got - for the most part. But this? This was something deeper that even he couldn't sort out and explain, so how could she expect to assume that she knew?

Not that he had ever given her a reason to believe anything about him was really deeper, but Gryphon could never see those sorts of inconsistencies within himself, and thus he just blamed her for not being able to tell that something was different. He thus felt completely justified with his argument.

And then suddenly everything completely changed - the atmosphere between them, Jasmine's face and tone, everything. Gryphon watched the cold expression melt off her face before his very eyes, and then suddenly she was shaking, and he thought it was from more than just the icy rain. Again he felt an overwhelming desire to just pull her back into his arms, and he became extremely aware of how much he wanted to kiss her again even though he was angry - Merlin, he wanted to kiss her a lot. He wanted to kiss her and forget about all of this and forget about the world and everyone else and the situation and just go back to what they had before where he didn't have to think about anything, even though he knew that wasn't possible any more. And yet his arms remained crossed tightly over his chest, and his feet were still stuck in the same place.

Her words were completely unexpected to him and hit him hard, and they struck deep.

Was she...confessing to him? After the way she had treated him after their intimate few hours together, and the past few days, and the up-and-down emotions she had just displayed in front of him, it was not what she had been expecting. And what could he even say back? How did he feel? Suddenly Gryphon found himself in a situation where he had to come up with an answer, which was exactly what he had been avoiding with his yelling and his pouting and everything else he had been doing for the past three days. How did he feel about her? She was sorry because she hadn't told him before. She wanted to be with him. With him. It certainly wasn't the first time a girl had said such words to Gryphon, but this was definitely the first time he had not known what to say back. The answer was no, it had always been no - no relationships, no commitment, none of that nonsense, it wasn't for him. So why couldn't he just say that now?

Because the answer isn't so simple this time.

"Jasmine, I---" Gryphon began and then swallowed his own words, his confident gaze dropping to the ground as his cheeks flushed. He suddenly felt like a boy in middle school getting confessed to by his crush and not knowing what to say, and it wasn't that far from an accurate metaphor. He sucked in a deep, sharp breath through his teeth, then straightened his posture again, determined to be confident this time and not just stutter around like a fool like he had before. That was partly what had started this entire misunderstanding, after all, and he didn't like anyone seeing him like that - let alone Jasmine. He hated being seen as weak. "What I was trying to tell you before? Back...you know, before," he shrugged, hoping she knew what he meant, "When I couldn't - it was that I.....well." He felt his confidence begin to fail again but forced himself to keep going, and the result was his words coming out very quickly, sounding a bit like one big word jumbled together with his faint accent, "IthinkIlikeyoutoo."

There. He had said it. And Gryphon felt some strange mix of extreme pride, and like he was going to be sick, all at once. His gaze faltered for a moment and he again felt like a child, but he quickly shifted his dark eyes to meet hers again. The look behind his eyes was an intense one for several long moments, but then it softened as he shifted his weight a bit between his feet. "I'm just...scared, okay?" he then said very softly, his voice barely above a whisper and he wasn't even sure if she would hear him through the rain, nor was he sure if he wanted her to. That was not something he had ever even admitted to himself, let alone someone else.

All I know since yesterday...

...is everything has changed

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Jasmine felt herself panicking. Somehow she knew that she was going to end up making Gryphon mad at her to the point where he never wanted to see her again. Or even if she didn't make him mad she was sure to scare him off with her neurotic behavior. Even through the fear she felt the strong urge to throw herself into his arms. It was almost as if he had his own gravity and he was pulling her in, not that she was complaining. Jasmine had never felt like this about anyone before and now that she did she was terrified to lose it.

As Gryphon replied to her comments, Jasmine felt ashamed. He was right of course. She had assumed a lot and apparently she was wrong. Why else would Gryphon be so angry? She felt herself blushing and found it impossible to look into his eyes as he spoke. Though her tears had stopped, Jasmine still hiccupped randomly from the sobs that had wracked her body. “You’re right.” She agreed quietly. “I was making assumptions about what I thought you wanted and I’m sorry. I don’t care what kind of reputation you have or have had, I wanted to be with you that night.” Jasmine kept her eyes locked on the ground as she spoke, the rain soaking her to the core, sending shivers across her body. “I don’t think either of us is at fault, we didn’t do anything wrong. I just overacted.” It was as if the cosmos shifting; she was actually apologizing and admitting she was wrong. It was almost as if they were in an alternate universe. “I don’t regret anything that happened. Actually it was the best feeling I’ve ever had.” Her cheeks got hotter as more color flooded them. She saw little puffs of steam coming off her body into the chilly, wet air.

Gryphon was right about everything. Over the past six years, Jasmine had never given either of them time to get to know eachother. Until a few days ago that had never bothered her, but now the thought of it gave her a sick feeling. Gryphon was someone she wanted to know more about. She knew the basics, but not even enough of those and it was her fault. “I should have gotten to know you sooner.” She said at last, glancing up at him through soaked eyelashes. “You are an amazing person. Every second we spent together the other night made me feel like a new person. You showed me more passion and desire than I have ever felt before.” Jasmine felt really silly admitting all this in the rain, but since they hadn’t spoken in days, and everything was being placed in the open, Jasmine felt she had to say everything that she had been thinking over the last few days.

When she poured her heart out to him, Jasmine had been terrified. What if he rejected her? Told her that it was all just a plot to sleep with her? Every possible terrifying rejection that she could think of, she did. So when Gryphon started stammering and tripping over his words again, Jasmine thought the same thing that she had the night in the Room of Requirement. She was so sure that he was just trying to be nice and spare her feelings that she was already setting herself up for failure. Already she was prepping her heart for the breaking it was going to endure, but it didn’t come. Jasmine listened, her eyes still focused on the ground at her feet, as Gryphon fumbled and tripped over his words again. Either he doesn’t know what to say or he’s just having a hard time saying it. She felt miserable all over again. All these up and down emotions were starting to take a toll on Jasmine. Even though she knew she was about to get her heart broken, she still wanted to be in Gryphon’s arms.

Then something happened that made Jasmine feel light headed. Her head snapped up. What did he just say? Surely she had heard him wrong. Jasmine titled her head to the side as she studied the boy in front of her. He looked torn, no not torn, just uncomfortable. It was hard for Jasmine to look away now. Her eyes found his and held his gaze, trying very hard to understand what it was that he had just said. I think he said he likes me. Her heart hammered loudly in her chest, hoping dearly that she had in fact heard him correctly. Slowly she took a step towards him. His eyes, intense at first, were now soft. His next words were almost lost to her, but after a few seconds of thought, she figured out what he said this time. He’s scared? But that means…. He did say what I thought!

In the blink of an eye, Jasmine crossed the distance between them, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. It felt so good to have her lips pressed against his again. Ever since she’d left him alone she had been dying to get back to this part. Her body trembled with excitement and fear as she slid her hands to his shoulder and broke the kiss. She was smiling as she pulled away to look at him, her heart happily danced in her chest. “Don’t you think I’m scared too?” She whispered, moving a hand to play with the wet hair on the back of his neck. “You showed me emotions I wasn’t even sure existed. This is all new to me, but I’m glad that I get the chance to feel it.” Unable to stop herself, Jasmine pressed her lips to his again and giggled into the kiss. When she pulled away she was still smiling. “I’m terrified actually. It’s hard to control myself around you. All I want is for you to hold me and never let go. And your lips,” Jasmine looked down at his lips and licked her own, “I can’t get enough.” Though she wanted to kiss him again, she told herself to wait. She needed to know how Gryphon felt now that everything was on the table. She wouldn’t go forward until he said something. “Where do we go from here, Gryphon?” His name sent chills down her spine. Oh how good it felt to say his name again. “Please, don’t hold back. If you don’t hold back, I wont assume, and maybe the night will end differently.” Color flooded her cheeks as she looked into his eyes, still playing with his hair.

She told herself she was only going to think about the here and now, not the future, but even as she was mentally telling herself this she found herself wondering what would happen after she graduated. If she and Gryphon did end up together, would it only be for a short time? Would he end up dumping her because she was leaving the school? Or would they try to work it out? Jasmine had already thought about taking a job in Hogsmeade just to stay close to Gryphon next year, at least she would get to see him on the weekends. It’s too soon for that! He hasn’t even said he wants to be with you. He may not. Jasmine was in too good of a mood to let herself be upset at the moment, but she knew, deep down that there was a chance that this could still turn out badly.

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Tag! Gryphon Kisaragi
Wearing! School robes
Words! 1,256
Credit! CC
Lyrics! Everything has changed- Taylor Swift
Notes! Wow, this one came really easily, I'm super happy with it. I think I made a Big Bang Theory jab in there somewhere though lol So exciting!!! So much potential for future plotting <3[/blockquote][/size]